A NEW VIEW OF PURPOSE

It’s been a while hasn’t it. My right hand continues to improve, enough now I can try typing again. I read/hear a lot of things about the current state of being and find it fascinating, really. The more I ponder, the furthest I seek to reach in our past and into our future, leaving the ‘middle’ with the endless question: who are we/what am I? Sticking with the singular: what is my purpose (apart from having none)? If I do have a purpose, is it singular or collective? I think that’s a very fair question in the midst of it all. If I choose ‘singular’ then I have an open slate. If I choose ‘collective’ then I have the task of choosing which collective(s) I want to be associated with, and must keep up the awareness that such a choice can only be temporary since change is the order of the day. I.e., my collective choice does not remove the problem of leading or adapting to on-going change.
Let’s go with ‘singular’ choice as regards purpose before I choose my purpose. That doesn’t mean I won’t be interacting with others (you) but it means that my chosen purpose will override my decisions and for good or ill it means that if the choices offered by whatever collective violate my own sense of purpose then I have the choice and must have the power to say a categorical ‘No’ and go my own way, no matter what that does to my reputation or well-being. So far OK?
What do i mean by “going my own way?” It means I’ve decided that I am an individual. That means I see myself as being fully alive, not just physically but morally and spiritually. That’s scary. For most, life consists of going through the motions: work, play,entertainment and sometimes joining others in demonstrations or revolutions when there seems to be no choice. But what about for a real individual? To answer that, one has to be certain about who one is, and that means knowing beyond any doubt what it means to be alive.
When I speak of life I mean that I speak of a state of being represented by inexhaustible possibilities. Nothing is ever “good enough” or “satisfactory.” If I find myself saying “it is what it is” — to end an argument or avoid one — it doesn’t mean that I believe that, I can’t. An individual always has an answer even if in most cases s/he cannot state it without getting into trouble with believers; with the status quo. We have enough historical evidence of unwise people who insisted on forcing their views on their persecutors and ended up on a scaffold or a cross. To what end?
The person who is truly alive does not need to convince anyone else, that being the beauty and curse of being an individual. The curse because I cannot defend myself against the mob (all collectives are essentially mobs) and the beauty showing me that I do not need to defend whatever it is…
I’ll close this by saying that I have a purpose: not to defend, not to prove this against that, but simply to go on opening those endless Pandora’s boxes of possibilities.