more this ‘n that

Good morning WordPress. If I were to write what’s on my mind lately I’d be a river run wild. I’ll spare you as much of it on the surface resembles much of what is already standard fare on WP. What about what sits below the surface though?

A hodegpodge of thoughts? 1st: The classic and unanswerered question: who (or what) am I? Easy as difficult: I am me, no one and nothing else. Means I am what I, and no one/nothing else, thinks. What I think is all and everything that matters to me-nothing else. I am not what I have/am reading or otherwise absorbing from my surrounding, local or cosmic: there is no local or cosmic in my mind. I am not a physical body but a mind. The physical is the slave part of “me” that only matters in physical exchanges in a very short and meaningless life. Lots of people try to impose their views upon me: I use my physical machine to respond to such without letting my mind get tangled into the mess, and it is a mess.

What I really think no one but me will or can ever know. My physical handles the mess through endless sloughs of belief systems that change by day, week, or year and after each shift my grey matter is just as happy regardless. From a Buddha to a Jesus to Mein Kampf and a little Red Book or Animal Farm or the smooth yarking of some talking head or a preacher, I allow (free) my grey matter to play with or engage with and I remain unchanged.

Example: vaccines. An interesting aspect of a capitalistic (greedy) world to bring itself surely down to hell (end) to be eventually replaced by something else (usually) worse. I’ve mentioned in the past how I see this happening (the mind – me – can see into the future so no big trick.). I’ve been pro and anti-vax until I moved away from the playing field. Now I know the vax is a maga scam that speaks of money and control. By the same token my grey matter convinced itself that being vaxxed was better than not so as to put the sheeple it interacts with at peace – so that is vaxxed. But it means nothing at all. I think my grey matter self realizes this as it walks around knowing it was a placebo. Of course the trick is to believe/not believe in placebos.

Why then do I exist and why here particularly on this world? Now I delve into the strictly personal realm of real living, speaking not as an earthling or as I prefer to express it, as Earthian. I am a Human. A Human does not respond to earth beliefs, there are no thoughts as such in the earth sphere of expression, only beliefs and belief systems. As the prophet said, there is nothing new under the sun, and as any Human can see. Everything is related to something else, only expressed in different ways, using different symbols, all part of the earth pattern.

Whatever the Human thinks, ponders, wonders about or seeks (a big part of becoming Human) in no way implies any belief or any overt or covert method to try to convince anyone else of anything. For me that’s the cue. If in my mind there is the least desire to convince another, that’s where I’ve slipped into the earthian model of belief.

Enough for now, enjoy being you!

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[Thoughts from  ~burning woman~  ]

Let me begin thus: I find myself living in a totally dysfunctional world of semi intelligent creatures caught up in a paranoid fear of death using superstition to justify their mindless, senseless rituals. So petrified of death are they that they’ll condemn each other to a living hell rather than stop, just for a few moments, to regain some semblance of sanity. But as I’ve discovered, that’s not how the program of the hive mind functions.

In juxtaposition to this global spiritual and mental madness, I find myself contemplating my own death or the possibility of it, not as an escape from the madness – I’ve left those thoughts behind long ago – but as a closing in inevitability. I’m in my mid seventies and haven’t forgotten that my original idea of a long life saw it end at fifty. Every year since that time has been a bonus.

Most of us may not choose the time of our death but we can all choose what kind of person we have made ourselves into when we arrive at that moment. Who do I want to be when I die? Not how do I want to be seen or remembered, but who am I going to be?

If memory serves, and I have died many times so I should know, arriving at one’s death is a pretty definitive moment. It’s like punching out at the end of the day: day is done and I cannot go back over it and change anything. I can look back but I cannot act back. If I spoke out of turn or acted wrongly, the cat is out of the bag.

That’s how life is. We are given choices all the time and many of those are difficult. Where corruption, dishonesty and greed is the order of the day it seems so much “smarter” to play ball but where does that leave society? More importantly, where does that leave me when I look back at my personal track record? What’s on my resume?

Let’s stir that pot a bit.

Many decades ago I realized that people were not abandoning their religions because they were evolving, or simply allowing their intelligence to win over their superstitious beliefs. They were choosing to serve a different god who declared that overt greed, hedonism and selfishness were the new virtues. That god’s name was Capitalism, aided and abetted by Science.

Giving any kind of personal account to a long-time invisible deity was no longer in the cards. It was worth the risk to turn one’s back on the God of religion to savour the pleasures of the moment offered by the new Church of Consumerism. The switch from an instituted religion to agnosticism or atheism was never a bid for spiritual or mental freedom but for longer coffee breaks and a paid lunch hour.

And of course I was right – the curse of being observant. Faith equipped with a new superstition has returned with a vengeance. It took a bit for the programming to adjust; for the conditioning AI’s to create new algorithms, but here we are in the midst of a new religion worshiping a relatively new god: technology. Technology does not promise eternal life but the good life here and now available through credit, legal drugs and medical procedures all meant to make “the good life” last beyond the point of having any relevance or meaning. Despite all evidence to the contrary, the new faith has guaranteed the new belief’s global success. 

Like all previous gods technology demands absolute obedience and mindless worship. That’s what faith is, but it needs testing. Technology’s high priesthood, the billionaire technophiles, have invented certain rituals by which modern true believers are tested and instantly known. First they reinvented the Devil and give that distinguished gentleman a new name. Beelzebub became the dread virus Covid 19, the deadliest Devil ever invented whose immanence is endlessly bolstered by the high priesthood’s government and corporate agents and their talking heads.

His enemies will be the obedient masses who wear the mandated garments denoting purity of body and soon to be marked for life with the divine vaccine which the lesser priests (the bureaucracies) will administer. Those who refuse to wear the mark will be called demon worshipers. They will be spied upon, hounded, cast out, rounded up and imprisoned, denied access to schools, public institutions and other services – whatever the high priesthood chooses as methods of punishment for non-compliance.

It was but a matter of time before superstition reasserted itself in the Earthian hive mind. When it comes to society’s performance, the powers that be need not strain themselves looking for new controlling methods. They just need to tweak the programming to match the currency of the times. Fear and superstition once more rule the world. Millennia and nothing has moved forward among the crowded homo sapiens crowds. Not a single thing. 

So I look at that and think, well, why should I acquiesce to this? How can I not dissent? And if dissenting is going to make my own life hell, why not concentrate on “dying well” if non-dissent is blasphemy against my nature? I never had much use for superstition and a collective belief in the new Devil invented to enrich the technophiles is not going to sway me in that direction! I have seen the enemy and it wasn’t me. It was the Powers and their sycophantic, frantic servants, disciples, followers, and the masses of believers.

My body may yet surprise me and last a few years. That means I may have to endure the results of madcap, often deadly rituals performed by a hive mind gone off the deep end but I resolve to continue to develop this “me” I have learned to trust against all the offering of man’s society. When I finally die, I will not do so within a fear filled, drug crazed mind enslaved to mindless belief and ritual. I will not be leaving a life with nothing to show for itself but the end of a path of blind obedience, dully hoping that somehow my acquiescence bought me a few extra days or months of the promised “consumer bliss.” When I die it will be with the dignity of dissent against a murderous, insane, sociopathic system. It will be in the knowledge that in my mind I always, always, said “NO!”

“Roots” (from an old cottonwood along the Hope river, Chilliwack – August 28, 2020)

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[thoughts from   ~burning woman~   ]

I know now that for a life to have any sort of meaning it has to be experienced from the point of view of having asked one big question. You may well ask, what do you mean by ‘a big question’ and I will reply, I mean such a question which, no matter how you try to find an answer for will remain unanswered. You can watch TV ‘til your cross-eyed, scour the internet, pray, ask whomever, do research, meditate, ponder. You can read philosophy, study all the greatest collected wisdom, watch Ted Talks or even play with algorithms and everything you put in that basket will fall out the bottom.  

That’s it, that’s what real life is: a question bigger than anything a single life can ever answer and no one else has ever asked and given answers to. You see, a big question does not lead you in circles. You’ve all heard the saying, that doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is the definition of insanity. So think: isn’t that what our civilization (so called) has trapped the population of an entire world into doing? It’s our endless search using repetitive small questions that is bringing us and our bullshit accomplishments (again so-called) to their ignoble and much deserved end.

You may not agree and that is certainly your prerogative. You may continue to think about your traditional answers to your endless small questions and they will gladly continue to drive you to power society’s squirrel cage with their trite, repetitively useless non-answers.

If you would put an end to your personal contribution to society’s merry-go-round; if you would figure out a way to exercise your mind outside the pointless running with the herd up the forever collapsing side of the squirrel cage, try to ask one really big question.

The answer is always in the question, of course, or there could be no question, but you have to know how to ask the question if you would extract an answer from it. It takes imagination, courage, daring, commitment, dedication and I daresay compassion to ask one big question knowing that eventually an answer will begin to form to hang over your head like the sword of Damocles.

Each big question’s answer will demand your life. No, not your physical life, that is of little consequence to any big question, but your mind’s life. It will demand that you be ready to change your mind completely and endlessly – without ever reverting to simplistic answers given by little questions. Without ever going back to the squirrel cage even if you discover that you are the only one who jumped out and are standing alone while the herd frantically continues to power the spinning wheel that makes all the great evils of this world endlessly possible, or as endless as there is a world to sustain such foolish and enormously wasteful expenditure of finite energy.

Whatever your big question was that propelled you out from the thundering stampede, it now begins to formulate an answer.

You didn’t start out to go on some quest to the top of a mountain, to the jungle or in the deep desert – no, no such romantic idiocy that also brings you full circle. You just asked one big question, your big question. And only you, standing alone “far from the madding crowd” can ever formulate and hear the bits and pieces of your big answer. Only then will you also realize that it is on the formulation of that answer that you will cross the threshold into death and beyond where you will continue from one existential riddle to the next.  

Inland pond – along the Fraser River, August 15, 2020

 

What it means to Believe

[thoughts from  ~burning woman~ …]

For those who have, or want to take, the time to read. I’m not sure the title is appropriate but here’s the story anyway.

I remember much of what I’ve been told over the years, even those things I came across I couldn’t as yet understand. Much was a jumble of contradictions but isn’t Earthian life a barrage of contradictions? Notice I leave nature out of this argument. Natural or non-people life exists in its created/evolved/adapted state (take your pick on that) accepting it, trusting it and using it to fulfill awareness. Unlike with my observations of Earthian life I see no conflict there.

Earthians (the people, man, homo sapiens, whatever label we give ourselves – again take your pick) need to constantly invent pseudo-realities, each one built upon another but each one further from sky, land and water; from the natural order we should be existing under. Let me qualify that by saying it is not our problem, per se. It is “how” we arrive at this perceived need. Maybe I can explain with this story.

Years ago I had a vision. A “god” showed me what he saw in me. He said to me, “You are of us – specifically, you are mine, though you do not at this time remember why that is, nor how it came about. The time has come that I must open your mind to another reality – beyond that of earth, beyond that of your fellow-man. I am going to give you the power, the strength and the understanding to be a bridge between realities. In time it will kill you but it won’t destroy you – you will survive for you are made of god-stuff. After you re-learn to walk between worlds in detachment and compassion you will form a bridge between two worlds: that of earth and that of man for make no mistake, these exist as two distinct dimensions however cleverly that truth is hidden.” (…to paraphrase Kipling here, O man is man and earth is earth and never the twain shall meet…)

“This bridging will seem a rather foolish and pointless thing to do because few of the rank and file will become aware of the existence of this thing. Fewer will understand and fewer yet will be changed by it. But you will know, and knowing, you will complete your labour. When it is done, and you have died from so much expenditure of energy, from abuse, exposure and time, I will give you a new life. You have been tested and you will not fail because you can no longer fail yourself. Use the information that is in your mind: think, speak and act accordingly. There is no need for more.”

And so, in the vision, I became this living bridge. Few indeed could understand the meaning. Predictably many of the ruling classes who knew of this “bridge” felt threatened by this presence. The consensus was that I posed a danger to the established order and  should be destroyed. So I was killed, my bridge-body cast down into emptiness. That should have been the end of the story. It wasn’t.

I reawakened in another place, another reality. My pain eased then left me. Only memories of what I’d tried to do remained; the sorrow that I could not make “them” understand. Now that hourglass’ sand had run down. I could not go back, certainly not in time to prevent a great tribulation from devastating man’s earth. In a dream state, I heard the cries and the screams of a world that was burning. I felt the hot breath of billions of prayers passing through my mind – but they had no substance and could not be focused. We the “Outsiders” (for now I was with my own people again) could only feel great sorrow; we could not reach back to prevent, nor heal. Because man’s spiritual reality was so dimmed, there was no return passage: the heart-rending prayers had no power to take us back to them. Had we done so of our own will, at the sight of us they would have forgotten both their prayers and their immediate pain. They would have blamed us for their troubles and would have killed us again.

I have pondered that vision over the years. Being a “bridge” can have many meanings. Let me talk a bit about “faith” for that concept properly understood is itself meant to be a bridge between worlds as those who remain religious or have passed through that stage should well know.

Recently I found myself, in my avatar mind, interacting with individuals who believe in their God; who pray to that God, and yet seem woefully lacking in the kind of power that

would help them overcome the tricks, traps and ruses of the Matrix complex. These people exist within the same maze as other Earthians, those who believe in other gods, goddesses or man-made powers, those who don’t, those who could care less: the selfish, the greedy, the ignorant, the narcissists. The God people remain helpless to break out and reach for that desperately needed fresh air of above/beyond-earth reality. They are

confused by many things, fearful, doubtful or unaware of the terrible responsibility they accrue when they claim to believe but do not live the life of obedience that demonstrates the truth of that path. They cover over this instability with verbal pronunciations of faith and attempts at imposing their religions upon others through subterfuge; by usurping

the democratic political process and spending huge monetary resources on ostentatious infrastructure. Failing that, as we see happening, they resort to overt violence and war. There is little else to show for all that religious effort.

So I found myself in an in-between position, between my life as an aspiring avatar (no faith in anyone but self) and God’s path for his followers or faithful. In these exchanges, I realized that being an avatar allows me to “obey” my detached reality while providing insight to other observers. I realized that if I am interacting with an individual who prays to God, hence must have faith in God, my task is to look into that one’s faith to see why it does not produce the fruit inherent to the basic tenets of that faith. Whether you are an avatar, or you are a disciple of Christ or believe in God in some way, the path is similar if you are fully aware of this one fact: that it demands total detachment from the things of earth (the System and its fruits) and living in a constant state of self-sacrifice. You are in the world but not of the world and you can never, ever, be confused as to what it means to live thus.

Believing in God when you live on earth and you are Earthian could be a good thing if that is lived correctly, i.e.,in humility and compassion. What I see, why Earthian faith, though widespread shows so little fruit, or I should say, produces so much bad fruit, is because people have used a book, the Bible (or Koran or any other “holy” book of any state sanctioned, incorporated religion) and relied on non-spiritual teachers and interpreters to anthropomorphize the ancient, original creator God into a modern travesty of a man-made Santa Claus who gives gifts only to those who can afford to buy them for themselves.

The kind of “faith” I would talk about from experience isn’t religion, science, or a product of evolution. Spiritual faith, to have meaning, must rely upon a holistic and whole aspect of man in relationship with spirit. In my earlier interactions with spirit or transcendent divinity, and in my readings about such, my spirit awareness has always been a call to compassion through self-sacrifice. That is the basis of any faith in any “real” divine entity. That is the only “proof” any faith-based life can give to the world. The believer or disciple’s life is the proof, positive or negative, that God not only exists, but is truly a good, loving, compassionate deity. The believer is called but to one thing: to make it so as if it was God itself in thought, word and deed. The believer is by definition the mirror image of her/his chosen divinity. When the world looks for some proof of God’s existence it isn’t in nature but in the self proclaimed exceptionalism of that God’s followers. Try as one might there is no other proof for God’s existence.

True faith has no use for wishful thinkers, deal-makers, “gimme-gimme’s” and much less for controlling power-wielders and greedy oppressors or liars. A man-made god is always conned, being but an idol, not so the intent of faith in a real divinity. Whatever the

shenanigans of organized religion to create a path to an imaginary god that by-passes volitional self-sacrifice, it’s fiction. The faith-based path to faith-based divinity and to wherever that may lead is one of selflessness, of self-sacrifice, of total abandonment to that divinity’s will. And where does that lead? To insane inner joy even while walking through a hell of sorrow.

So, what is that “will?” The funny thing about God’s will is that it cannot, ever, be found at the beginning of one’s walk. One has to “give in” and take the journey without ever looking back. One must turn from selfishness to servant-hood before any understanding can

manifest in the mind. I know this because I’ve passed through that stage. I know how it works and I know that organized religion’s sole purpose is to guarantee that no one will ever get it. Nothing is more dangerous to the organization than the one who has discovered how to synchronize one’s will with that of a faith-based divine will. Once

that is grasped, there is no need for religion anymore. Obedience is all that matters and that is the key to self-empowerment.

Do you see what I have done? I’ve logically concluded that this faith-based divinity can be none other than myself. I made a covenant with myself to think a certain way, to reason and live in such a way. Then I placed myself on the altar in obedience to my life choice.

This is where the vast majority of Earthian sheeple bleat their frustration, their anger, their rejection. Sheep, by nature, obey the herd instinct. Sheeple are bound by groupthink. There’s nary an independent mind among them and that one is always on the brink of being discovered and eliminated as a threat to the herd. Religions serve the herd. Faith serves only the individual.

By dropping the now-utterly useless God label and trusting in one’s self to make all life and death decisions, that is what self-empowerment means. One thing I’m sure of, it will not lead me to that never-never land the sheeple call heaven. For that I’m thankful. I’ve seen enough “heaven” here on earth to know I’ve had enough of it. But let me add this: I know, as a personal inner awareness, that I am an infinite being with infinite life behind and before me. My “home” is the cosmos and my “assurance of salvation” is the degree of compassion I express to myself and the world I exist within – however temporary the relationship.

Quote: An unconventional individual is never bound by conventional wisdom, tradition or belief system. (anonymous)

Quote: Milena lived in a culture that replicated itself endlessly but never gave birth to anything new. (Child Garden – Geoff Ryman)

 

 

April 19, 1979

[my life by   ~burning woman~  ]

And now, by popular request – thanks for being my cheering section George! – a little true story that will neither seem true, nor is it so little.

It’s a dark, cold and cloudy late afternoon in Chilliwack. It’s April 19, 1979 and I’m at the end of my rope, parked in the back of an old hotel, (now long gone) the kind that rents rooms by the hour and I am seriously contemplating suicide. Nothing left to live for, it seems.

I’m 33 years old and I’ve just been advised by several surgeons and medical experts that my debilitated back condition was not fixable. I was looking at spending the rest of my life in a wheelchair probably within months. That was an unacceptable option.

Yes, I had already spent money and time on the do-it-yourself self-healing things; the vitamins, the exercise things, the special chairs and mattresses things. This was it: the final choice.

That’s when “it” happened. I was caught in some sort of trance and pulled into an alternate reality. I can still see the scene. I was in two places at once. I was standing, painlessly I might add, and talking with a very tall, slim individual in a white floor length “gown”. He had long straight white hair that flowed over his shoulders and a very kindly looking, very serious face. I was also lying down on what seemed like a hospital bed and there were three other entities around me doing “medical” stuff much as you would see in a modern Earth hospital minus all the hardware – but for the bed, there was none. (Maybe that was a ninite bed, eh, George? – ref to: https://randomwalkthroughintelligentuniverse.wordpress.com/)  

I remember how good it felt just being there. The tall one spoke to me and I realized he was part of the healing team, giving me advice on how to proceed to live my “new” life once they were done. He said much more than I could absorb but the great thing about these types of communications is they are given in “zipped” package format which can be opened and drawn from, bit by bit over time. I didn’t know that then and I didn’t care.

 

What I cared about was hearing that my body was being fixed and I was being “sent back” to my old life to “work things out” so to speak. I did not like that idea. Going back to what I was, even minus the back pain, was unacceptable. We had a “discussion” in which I tried to explain why I did not want to go back, and he explained that first of all it wasn’t a choice I could make and secondly there was a very good reason for going back. His explanations, in brief, as I remembered afterwards.

“Know that every *ISSA being who chooses to incarnate does so with, and for, a purpose. It is because these purposes are seldom remembered, least of all completed, that worlds like yours (there are so many!) remain in their terrible darkness of pain and sorrow. You will need to awaken to the purpose you set for yourself before you reincarnated on Earth and you will need to activate that mind template of yours to complete your “this life” tour of duty to your world. The life we are returning to you, and returning you to, is not meant to be lived selfishly any longer. You will find that not to be a burden, but a source of bliss and joy as you get used to it.”

“Could I not just forget this, end this, and start again somewhere else, clean, free of the memories of the mess I’ve made of this life?”

“No. Too many things left unfinished and to jump you out of your responsibilities, even if it was permitted, would serve neither your ends, nor ours as regards your world. We have a stake in how you and others like yourself perform when they return to the reality of their particular societies. Your request is non-negotiable. We are now returning you to your life exactly at the point where we intercepted it minus any physical pain or dis-ease, such as your back disruptions and allergies. Those are already gone.

You will not be left alone to work things out. People, whom you will call “Teachers” will be assigned to you, to provide advice and answer the thousands of questions you will have. Do not get attached to them. They will fulfill their own duty towards you and when done, leave you with all the information you will need, safely stored in “information packets” which your mind will tap into at need. They will teach you how to open your information packets based on need. Nothing and no one will be able to remove that information from your mind, nor can it be faked. When doubts and confusion arise, as will constantly happen, that is where you go for confirmation and support. But be very diligent in transferring any information you open into personal thinking patterns and into action. In other words, we have changed your body but you must change your own mind using that information.

That’s how it all started, 40 years ago. I can just imagine some reading this thinking (or saying) “Well talk about programming! She’s one to talk.” And it’s true, it is a form of programming if the information was simply accessed and put into a “faith” folder or used to write self-help delusion novels; if it was turned into a proselytizing process, like Christians and Muslims do with their particular information.

There are massive differences to the faith-based belief systems. One is, this remains a personal matter. Two, I am personally acquainted with its source and I’ve tested its reliability, consistency and trustworthiness. Three, I can talk about it to anyone who asks questions but I’ve always said that what I “have” inside is not transferable except as words bereft of any kind of manipulative force or any hidden power agenda. Individually or collectively people can tap into what I say and what I do but there is zero access to what I possess of cosmic knowledge. Only I have the key and I cannot “loan” it to anyone nor can the information be extracted through any form of duress. If it was it would be in a code that nothing could crack.

Having opened up this can of worm, I’ll just leave it open…

*ISSA: Acronym for intelligent, sentient, self aware