Category Archives: Politically incorrect humour

Touching Base

Hello to all, and to all a hello!

Some of you may have noticed less comments from me, and less posts… well there are a couple of simple explanations.  The most obvious, which I can make public without fear of being investigated is that I’m suddenly very busy in the other real world, working on jobs, ones that actually pay, can you believe it?  So that means long hours in Daylight Saving Time pretending I’m enjoying myself as Spring very reluctantly begins to show his face and the snow line hems are rising up the side of those hills that surround this area.

The second reason (which of course I can’t make public, or tell anyone for fear of serious reprisals by the powers that be) is that I’ve become aware that I am a Russian agent, and that means I’ve awakened to my pre-birth training in some Siberian camp where I was indoctrinated in the doctrine of Putinism and trained in demagoguery (Heck I couldn’t even spell that!)  So now I have to spend time reviewing.

I don’t know yet what they’re going to ask me to do, but I have to be ready.  This is serious business and the competition is truly  fierce.  According to mainstream media, just about everybody (in North American at least) is now a Russian Agent, or claiming to be one because the scuttlebutt is that all awakened agents get free credit cards with very high spending limits, and as Jon Rappoport says, when the cards are maxed, the Russians pay the balance.  So you see, I’m motivated.

Of course, I didn’t write the above paragraph, didn’t post it on this blog and if you receive it, it’s your own fault for downloading it.  And by the way, that’s not me in those CCTV shots and in that video dancing with a bear.  It’s a look alike trained by my enemies to make my Russian masters disown me and refuse to give me my free credit cards.  Dirty pool but what can you expect with so much rampant corruption?  That bear isn’t even real: it’s a Sasquatch in a bear suit.

Sorry, the dishes need washing, tomorrow’s lunch needs putting together (or thinking about) and… and… something else…

 

 

The Case of the Crucifixion Report

(Disclaimer:  Ready for some satirically historical or historically hysterical, anecdotes?  I do hope you remembered to leave your sensitivities on the “Welcome” mat at the door as they would be somewhat of an impediment in this reading room.)

(breaking news by Sha’Tara-for immediate release)  

The following, as you may remember from your second year of Bible college history, is but a synopsis of what actually happened following the crucifixion of Jesus of Nazareth.  As you all know, a report was filed by Pilate and sent to Rome to be entered in the legal archives on Iron Mountain.  The report, however, never got to Rome and this raised some questions. Was there even a report?

After a great deal of trouble on my part, some bribing of priests and assorted officials, I finally got to the truth of the report’s disappearance.  Having already spent a great deal of time and money learning about this event, I thought it behooved me to fill you in on a few missing details.  I think you really want to know what actually happened, not just to the report itself, but to the changes wrought upon our history as a result of its loss.

The following document is certified true by the local “born again” member of parliament, the Catholic priest, academia and the local chapter of global main stream media.  It also passed muster on Facebook, going viral with over 956 thousand “Likes” and counting, so you know it can’t be false.

According to the revealed documents, it was well known to all that Pilate and Herod (the two “principals” involved in the controversial event known as The Crucifixion) were not only enemies, but cheapskates.  Pilate actually invented Romanomics by privatizing all Roman shipping within his area of control.  In this case, Publishus Bullshitus, the corporate owner of all mainstream media in Palestine, Persia and twenty-six and a half Greek islands linked by a Central Economic Union and the Trans-Greece Trade Agreement or TGTA, authorized a third page editorial in the Jerusalem Times that addresses this very issue: Pilate’s official report on the crucifixion of Jesus intended for the Roman Curia. (They called these jurists “the Curia” because they were insatiably curious, no other reason to go look under rocks here, so let’s move on.)

According to the editorial which glowingly endorses Pilate’s privatization schemes, the report was duly written up, scrolled up as per custom, sealed in an earthen jar, also as per custom, then handed over to a Carthaginian trader who sailed a trireme loaded with sweet potatoes.  The ship’s manifest says it was destined for Bari which, as you all know, or Googled you cheaters, is on the east coast of the Roman peninsula – a peninsula that would not become Italian for quite a few years hence – and basically across from Rome, which is on the west coast of same said peninsula.

Once duly received by port officials, the scroll would be taken across the peninsula to Rome by official horseback mail, not to be confused with the rider who also wore mail in the distant, seldom successful hope of thwarting terrorist arrows.  So unlike today, remember that terrorists were everywhere in those days.

The trireme, and this is also on record, was named “The Unsinkable” and until that trip had earned its name by reputation on many occasions.  The editorial, praising the fact that it cost Pilate about a third of normal government fees to ship privately, since the owners of private shipping exclusively used slave labour for rowers, mentions that “The Unsinkable” never made it to its destination.  As usual terrorists are blamed for this in the MSM (Main Stream Media) press editorials, but it is well known that non-official sources from a host of social media and the hated “Esseneleaks” sources mention a storm of massive proportions sweeping across the Mediterranean sea at that time, with waves over a hundred elbows in height.

These social media sources lumped in with some New Age predictions, go on at length about “climate change,” earthquakes and suddenly erupting volcanoes that will toss the entire Mediterranean sea into the “Great Ocean” then close the entry at Gibraltar; and finally a total global cooling due to the darkening of the skies.  A Western mage named Alexus Jonesephus declares, “It’s the end of the world as we’ve known it folks! It’s become prey to demonic forces gathering in the Sahara desert for an invasion of the northern continent!  When the sirocco begins to blow they will fly across the Atlas mountains and over the dry bed of the Mediterranean.  Now look here at my drawing:  when you look in the faces of those Saharans, you can see the demonic in them: they are black!  This is it!   This is it!  These are not conspiracy theories, people, it’s happening, right now!  Just look at my drawings, read my lips, buy my scrolls!”

More alt-right conservative sources attribute the storm to Jesus who knew, of course, that the report falsely accused him of sedition.

Jesus, having painfully raised himself from the dead over a period of two and a half days,and blown open the cave that held his body captive, stunning the guards with a Tazer which Mary Magdalene “the mad” and his mom “Mary the virgin” had secreted under his burial shroud, was by then re-installed in his office in his heavenly high-rise, two floors below that of his Father, with whom he wasn’t on speaking terms at the moment due to the fact that the old fart had left him to die on that cross, considering it a double-cross on the part of the old man who worried that Jesus would depose him with the help of his Earthian legions.  (I hope you weren’t trying to hold your breath while reading that sentence.  I could, of course, have broken it up but I thought it funny to watch some of you turn blue as you tried to read it to the end without stopping.)

At the moment however, Jesus was busy plotting the overthrow of the Roman Empire by designing a new religion that would simply take it over from within, then turn everybody on everybody else in an endless wave of bloodshed purportedly intended to defeat the terrorists.  “There WILL always be terrorists; there MUST always be terrorists!” He’d thundered, pointing at his major-domo, since it was dinner time and there was nobody else to thunder at.

Back in the office, then.  “Sedition?” he thundered (it is the prerogative of all top echelon male deities to thunder) at his cowering scribes,  “I’ll show them some truly god-damned sedition!”  Then he drove his fist, which had lost much sensitivity due to an incurable infection from a rusty nail, through the oak desk. He looked as his shaking scribes and laughed uproariously: “Don’t you hate it when that happens?  Get me a new desk, and this time I want an abacus with it.  And bring me a tall busty blonde Nordic slave girl in some gauzy outfit, no chains.  And teach her to work the thing.  I need some entertainment and some bang for my Drachma.

“Damn Chinese think they can calculate faster than us, do they? I’ll show them.  I’ll teach them to refuse to believe in me.  I’ll invade them with my religion, that’s what I’ll do, and I’ll corrupt them completely by bringing Roman depravity right into their temples and hovels. I’ll have my disciples show them how to use opium illegally.  Such a sweet deal: we all know that if you deny an Earthian anything he’ll want it ten times to a hundred times more.  They’ll go soft, stop growing their own food and starve.  Oh yes, they’ll understand what we mean when we say, “We come, we see, you die!”

God, (I should have used the expletive “Christ” that’s to become so common on earth, since I mean me, not the old fart in the penthouse) I feel so much better already.  I’m ready for my game of squash, where the hell is Rufix the Red?  Red!?  If he’s late one more time, I’m having him branded.  No, I’ll have him sent to hell as a gift to my bro and instruct Sate to chain him to a gridiron over a very slow flame.”

The rest, as they say, is history, and that ain’t over until the fat lady sings, they also say, however incorrectly political, or is that politically incorrect, the line now is.  I don’t make these things up, I just report the facts,  just the facts, ma’am.

As you can readily see by my short article on this rather well-worn piece of pre-Romanesque history, things were a lot different in those days.

Follow me for more truth or not, at:  https//www.thewholetruthornot-yourchoice.ca

I Live in a Banana Republic that Isn’t

   [Off the cuff, and It’s time to say it,  by Sha’Tara]

What is Canada?  Contrary to popular belief, it’s not a democracy, it’s a constitutional monarchy.  Some will argue that it is both, as if it could ever be both.  “Is this salt, or sugar?”  “It’s both.”  Oh, sure, that makes total sense.  They have to be the same, after all they’re both white.    

Canada: this is where I live. Geographically it’s the 2nd largest country in the world, about half the size of Russia and a bit larger than the USA, with China after that.   Population however is a mere 36 million.  Compare to the US @ 320 million, Russia @ 143.5 million and China @just under 1.4 billion.  Size isn’t everything.

But Canada isn’t into population size.  She’s not into motherhood.  To put it one way, she’s the bastard daughter of the divorced  queen of England and king of France. 

After the reconciliation, as she entered into her swinging years she saw opportunity and became America’s busty blonde bitch.

Washington’s her lover and her pimp is Wall Street.  Uncle Sam brokered the deal and it’s a tight one.

Wally:  “Let’s have a closer look at those natural resources, hey girlie?  Spread ‘em.”   And “spread ‘em” she does, with gusto.  As a “country” Canada is a total whore.  Whatever her lover does, she imitates.  Whatever her pimp orders, she does.  But like all whores, her dirty deeds are done mostly behind closed doors and no one’s the wiser.  Lamestream media isn’t much interested.  Just another prostitute and if she misbehaves, what do you expect?  She’s a whore. That, at least, is the cover story.

While the rest of the world carried on over the US presidential campaign and ordinary people all over had relevant things to say, or fears to express, nary a word from the whore.  Why should she care?  She’s been “protected” under every US presidencies, her wardrobe filled with furs, feathers and leathers, her “rights” guaranteed along with his rights, her “wrongs” in accord with his wrongs.  Imagine being the consort of “the biggest guy in the room.”  Donald Trump, Ronald Reagan or McDonald, what difference can it make?  Whatever they want, she gives.

Canada: the greatest pretend nation in the world; a cartoon character without a mind of her own. 

The EU or the US want her to sign some international trade treaty that everybody else abhors, sure, where do I put my “x” guys?  (Glossy lipsticked smile.) 

Wally Street says, you’re being too lavish with the servants, girlie, I need you to tighten up there.  “Oh, sure, of course Wally, I understand.”  (Clap hands)

“No more of those frills like labour unions understand?  Cut back on welfare, medicare and payouts to natives or whomever.  Can’t you find some more effective way to cut pensioners off?  Let them be homeless, won’t affect us.   I need to come up with more dough for Wally, he’s getting antsy and I can’t have that. 

Isn’t there any untapped natural areas we can get oil, gas, potash, lumber, copper, gold, steel, uranium, whatever from?  National parks?  Yeah, anyone look into national parks for resources lately?  No?  Whaddaya mean, no?  Get on with it.  Wally promised me a new gold bracelet if I get him more oil.”

“Wally says I need more security on the farm, so let’s get that up and running, now!  And no more protestors and demonstrators, Washy hates them.  Warn ‘em and if they continue, jail them.  In fact, jail ‘em all.  Put ‘em to work to pay for their keep, just like Washy does, I don’t care, I just don’t want trouble, OK?  And for God’s sake, no more damned refugees.  What am I supposed to do with ‘em? (Stomps foot and pouts.)

Canada.  This is where I live.  You don’t hear much about it because there’s an understanding.  Lamestream media knows that living with the mob means representing its interests.  You don’t talk about the mobsters’ girls. Those who make that mistake don’t just get fired, they end up at the end of the pier in cement boots.   

Why did I write this?  It’s a heads up, you see.  Canada is probably one of the last “safe” places to live in, in today’s world.  Or so it seems, but the reality, well, think of it as Anschluss when Nazi Germany annexed Austria in 1938.  Remember, most Austrians were jubilant, as most Canadians are these days when Washy and Wally invade another country.  Official education doesn’t wipe out ignorance.   

 

I Need to Define “Democracy” for Myself

[thoughts from   ~burning woman~  by Sha’Tara]

I don’t remember ever hearing the word “democracy” bandied about more than in the last couple of months. Ever notice that the more you hear a word, the less meaning it has?  So let’s start from basic: a dictionary definition, so we’re all on the same playing field.

Democracy | Definition of Democracy by Merriam-Webster  http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/democracy

democracies. 1 a : government by the people; especially : rule of the majority b : a government in which the supreme power is vested in the people and exercised by them directly or indirectly through a system of representation usually involving periodically held free elections.

I would imagine that most people would accept that definition, and most people would promptly go back to watching TV after checking the fridge for a beer or a half bottle of wine (which I’m sorely tempted to do right now!).  And in the case of my southern neighbours, most of them would rather not be reminded that their particular belief in democracy made them vote in, and elect, probably the least presidential character imaginable.  I’m not saying it’s going to be all bad… well it probably will so let’s not fool ourselves, but what I’m saying is, something’s seriously awry with a system that allows such a thing to happen, especially when it didn’t just happen, it was “pending” for months.

Yes, for several months, the people of the democracy saw a humanoid caricature, essentially a cartoon character, strut upon a stage ostensibly reserved for real people (in fact so reserved it is that a couple of real people wanting to seriously represent the people weren’t even allowed on that stage) clowning about and saying things that are usually only seen in cheap, crass and gross low budget comedies and tawdry TV sitcoms.  I’m saying months of non-stop public appearances that should have convinced any Earthian with even two brain cells to rub together that here was something to avoid as you would a cave-in on the freeway.  I mean, hello?  You just don’t go there.  You laugh a few times with the cartoon, then you go watch the Simpsons (I don’t watch TV so assuming that’s still running?).

But that’s not what happened.  With a *three-foot long nose still growing and sprouting leaves, this Pinocchio got enough popular votes to get itself elected president of the nation.  And already, typical of such soul-less and heartless characters it’s already plunging itself deep into the political establishment and getting ready to feather its own nest.  I wonder if any will notice that this emperor has no clothes?  I wonder if anyone will remember you can’t make a silk purse from a sow’s ear?  I wonder if anyone will realize that putting a gold crown on the head of a pig and sticking a scepter between it’s front feet doesn’t make it a king?

Well, these are the obvious questions, but they do not answer my question which is, what exactly is a democracy?  According to president Lincoln, the US democracy was to be a government of the people, by the people, for the people… in perpetuity – Gettysburg address.  So there you have it, and I think I’m getting closer to what I’m looking for: the difference between a real democracy, and one in name only.  Lincoln gives us this difference: government OF the people, BY the people, FOR the people.  Don’t they teach that in American schools?  I’m not American and I’ve known this Gettysburg address line since grade school… and I didn’t even have to salute a flag or sing God Bless America, and still I remembered it.

I don’t vote.  I haven’t done so since 1980, deliberately and with purpose aforethought.  I’m a conscientious objector.  If they made me vote, I’d spoil the ballot.  Call it a form of satyagraha.  Non-violent non cooperation.  And now that I’ve defined the concept of living in a democracy, I can explain why I don’t vote; why I cannot vote.  Before someone jumps up with, “voting is your sacred duty” or some such brain dead claim, let me say that for voting to be a sacred duty, that duty must be to a sacred concept.  Otherwise it cannot be sacred, can it.  Is the concept I’d be voting in, sacred?  After following the presidential “race” can that question even be raised?  A “democratic” foreign policy explained in six words by Hillary Clinton: “We came, we saw, he died!” (followed by loud laughter) and endless racist and misogynist comments by Trump the pussy groper, sacred?

Two things then I can say that would make a democracy legitimate for me.  One has to do with who gets elected.  Let’s see, government BY the people.  OK, that’s clear enough.  You don’t need a campaign and millions of dollars wasted while children go hungry, on election day every legitimate citizen of the state goes to the polls and votes for only one person: herself or himself or theirself (if you’re a trans like myself!) and predictably, the result is that everyone becomes president.  Everyone is the government.  And also predictably, that government is going to be of the people and for the people.  Well maybe it wouldn’t be a democracy any longer, it would become a peopleocracy.  In such a “system” I would have no problem voting as I couldn’t pick a candidate who is smarter, richer, whiter or blacker, older or younger, sicker or healthier,  maler or femaler than myself.  If I voted for a slimeball, guess who that would be?  I’m not saying the Earthian human race is ready or able to operate such a simple system, but it’s the only way to have a democracy that is so in more than words and emotionally sentimental outbursts.

Second thing, bringing it much closer to home.  In a more real democracy, and in a situation such as the US is experiencing after electing to shoot itself squarely in its collective foot, in their two-party system, when one of the candidates win, the other automatically becomes vice-president.  There is no logic in the winner picking some ninny yes-man from his own side.  He didn’t get all the votes, did he?  In fact in this case he got less votes than the other candidate but through rigged elections (which of course he’s now not about to contest) he got spot number one.  OK, I don’t like Candidette #2 either, certainly no more than Candidate #1, but by virtue of received popular votes, she gets the vice presidency.  That way the votes aren’t wasted, everybody wins and all the representatives have to do is decide on how their proposed policies, agendas and changes get implemented, by popular referendum if necessary.  Of course I’m aware that at the level of willingness to cooperate that we’re dealing with here, they may go for the jugular and kill each other.  I don’t see that as any great loss, do you?

(*Reference is to the story of the wooden puppet, Pinocchio.  When he lied his nose grew so everyone would know he was lying.)

 

 

Thoughts to Ponder: quotes and stuff

Like most people, I like to wander through the world of quotes, and sometimes I like to make some up too.  Here goes, some thoughts to ponder upon  – Sha’Tara 

This first entry relates to an infamous individual some people may have heard of, or even heard, recently.  I won’t say who that could be… let it be a surprise… 

TRUMPERY:  statements or beliefs that are untrue or make no sense

now more…

BANKERS: Sorry, we lost all of  your money.
THE PEOPLE: What are you going to do about it?
BANKERS: Nothing.  You’ll just have to give us more money.
THE PEOPLE: Where are we supposed to get it?
BANKERS: You’ll have to borrow it.
THE PEOPLE: Who is going to lend us this money?
BANKERS: We will.
THE PEOPLE: But you said you lost all of the money.
BANKERS: We did but you’re going to give us more so we’ll lend you that.

                    This really happened – James Anderson
(No – this really HAPPENS – EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAYSha’Tara)

Oligarchy=gov’t by the few
Cryptocracy= gov’t by secrecy
Kleptocracy=gov’t by thieves
Plutocracy= gov’t by the rich
Patriarchy= gov’t by males
Theocracy= gov’t ruled by priests
Democracy= gov’t by the people, either directly or through elected representatives

(…and the only one in the list not found in America is:  democracy)

Fortunately, some are born with spiritual immune systems that sooner or later give rejection to the illusory worldview grafted upon them from birth through social conditioning.  They begin sensing that something is amiss, and start looking for answers.  Inner knowledge and anomalous outer experiences show them a side of reality others are oblivious to, and so begins their journey of awakening.  Each step of the journey is made by following the heart instead of following the crowd and by choosing knowledge over the veils of ignorance. (Henri Bergson)

Civilization keeps sinking deeper into its own stagnant juices, looking to support more irrevocable absolutes- (Jon Rappoport)

Right-winged Christian fundamentalist law #1: The Right to Life Begins at Conception and Ends at Birth

There are many ways to drown, only the most obvious wave their arms as they’re going under. ― Nick Flynn, Another Bullshit Night in Suck City: A Memoir.

The highest goal that man can achieve is amazement. ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Theory of Colours

If you want wisdom, empty your heart of ignorance.  If you want contentment, empty your heart of greed.  If you want serenity, empty your heart of ill will (The Buddha)

Have compassion for everyone you meet /  even if they don’t want it. What seems conceit, /  bad manners, or cynicism is always a sign  /   of things no ears have heard, no eyes have seen.    /    You do not know what wars are going on   /   down there where the spirit meets the bone.   – Miller Williams, “Compassion,”

Inwardly, psychologically, be a nobody – Bruce Lee

(I’ve been a “somebody” and now I’m a nobody.  I can truthfully say this: Mr. Lee was right, Sha’Tara)

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