What it means to Believe

[thoughts from  ~burning woman~ …]

For those who have, or want to take, the time to read. I’m not sure the title is appropriate but here’s the story anyway.

I remember much of what I’ve been told over the years, even those things I came across I couldn’t as yet understand. Much was a jumble of contradictions but isn’t Earthian life a barrage of contradictions? Notice I leave nature out of this argument. Natural or non-people life exists in its created/evolved/adapted state (take your pick on that) accepting it, trusting it and using it to fulfill awareness. Unlike with my observations of Earthian life I see no conflict there.

Earthians (the people, man, homo sapiens, whatever label we give ourselves – again take your pick) need to constantly invent pseudo-realities, each one built upon another but each one further from sky, land and water; from the natural order we should be existing under. Let me qualify that by saying it is not our problem, per se. It is “how” we arrive at this perceived need. Maybe I can explain with this story.

Years ago I had a vision. A “god” showed me what he saw in me. He said to me, “You are of us – specifically, you are mine, though you do not at this time remember why that is, nor how it came about. The time has come that I must open your mind to another reality – beyond that of earth, beyond that of your fellow-man. I am going to give you the power, the strength and the understanding to be a bridge between realities. In time it will kill you but it won’t destroy you – you will survive for you are made of god-stuff. After you re-learn to walk between worlds in detachment and compassion you will form a bridge between two worlds: that of earth and that of man for make no mistake, these exist as two distinct dimensions however cleverly that truth is hidden.” (…to paraphrase Kipling here, O man is man and earth is earth and never the twain shall meet…)

“This bridging will seem a rather foolish and pointless thing to do because few of the rank and file will become aware of the existence of this thing. Fewer will understand and fewer yet will be changed by it. But you will know, and knowing, you will complete your labour. When it is done, and you have died from so much expenditure of energy, from abuse, exposure and time, I will give you a new life. You have been tested and you will not fail because you can no longer fail yourself. Use the information that is in your mind: think, speak and act accordingly. There is no need for more.”

And so, in the vision, I became this living bridge. Few indeed could understand the meaning. Predictably many of the ruling classes who knew of this “bridge” felt threatened by this presence. The consensus was that I posed a danger to the established order and  should be destroyed. So I was killed, my bridge-body cast down into emptiness. That should have been the end of the story. It wasn’t.

I reawakened in another place, another reality. My pain eased then left me. Only memories of what I’d tried to do remained; the sorrow that I could not make “them” understand. Now that hourglass’ sand had run down. I could not go back, certainly not in time to prevent a great tribulation from devastating man’s earth. In a dream state, I heard the cries and the screams of a world that was burning. I felt the hot breath of billions of prayers passing through my mind – but they had no substance and could not be focused. We the “Outsiders” (for now I was with my own people again) could only feel great sorrow; we could not reach back to prevent, nor heal. Because man’s spiritual reality was so dimmed, there was no return passage: the heart-rending prayers had no power to take us back to them. Had we done so of our own will, at the sight of us they would have forgotten both their prayers and their immediate pain. They would have blamed us for their troubles and would have killed us again.

I have pondered that vision over the years. Being a “bridge” can have many meanings. Let me talk a bit about “faith” for that concept properly understood is itself meant to be a bridge between worlds as those who remain religious or have passed through that stage should well know.

Recently I found myself, in my avatar mind, interacting with individuals who believe in their God; who pray to that God, and yet seem woefully lacking in the kind of power that

would help them overcome the tricks, traps and ruses of the Matrix complex. These people exist within the same maze as other Earthians, those who believe in other gods, goddesses or man-made powers, those who don’t, those who could care less: the selfish, the greedy, the ignorant, the narcissists. The God people remain helpless to break out and reach for that desperately needed fresh air of above/beyond-earth reality. They are

confused by many things, fearful, doubtful or unaware of the terrible responsibility they accrue when they claim to believe but do not live the life of obedience that demonstrates the truth of that path. They cover over this instability with verbal pronunciations of faith and attempts at imposing their religions upon others through subterfuge; by usurping

the democratic political process and spending huge monetary resources on ostentatious infrastructure. Failing that, as we see happening, they resort to overt violence and war. There is little else to show for all that religious effort.

So I found myself in an in-between position, between my life as an aspiring avatar (no faith in anyone but self) and God’s path for his followers or faithful. In these exchanges, I realized that being an avatar allows me to “obey” my detached reality while providing insight to other observers. I realized that if I am interacting with an individual who prays to God, hence must have faith in God, my task is to look into that one’s faith to see why it does not produce the fruit inherent to the basic tenets of that faith. Whether you are an avatar, or you are a disciple of Christ or believe in God in some way, the path is similar if you are fully aware of this one fact: that it demands total detachment from the things of earth (the System and its fruits) and living in a constant state of self-sacrifice. You are in the world but not of the world and you can never, ever, be confused as to what it means to live thus.

Believing in God when you live on earth and you are Earthian could be a good thing if that is lived correctly, i.e.,in humility and compassion. What I see, why Earthian faith, though widespread shows so little fruit, or I should say, produces so much bad fruit, is because people have used a book, the Bible (or Koran or any other “holy” book of any state sanctioned, incorporated religion) and relied on non-spiritual teachers and interpreters to anthropomorphize the ancient, original creator God into a modern travesty of a man-made Santa Claus who gives gifts only to those who can afford to buy them for themselves.

The kind of “faith” I would talk about from experience isn’t religion, science, or a product of evolution. Spiritual faith, to have meaning, must rely upon a holistic and whole aspect of man in relationship with spirit. In my earlier interactions with spirit or transcendent divinity, and in my readings about such, my spirit awareness has always been a call to compassion through self-sacrifice. That is the basis of any faith in any “real” divine entity. That is the only “proof” any faith-based life can give to the world. The believer or disciple’s life is the proof, positive or negative, that God not only exists, but is truly a good, loving, compassionate deity. The believer is called but to one thing: to make it so as if it was God itself in thought, word and deed. The believer is by definition the mirror image of her/his chosen divinity. When the world looks for some proof of God’s existence it isn’t in nature but in the self proclaimed exceptionalism of that God’s followers. Try as one might there is no other proof for God’s existence.

True faith has no use for wishful thinkers, deal-makers, “gimme-gimme’s” and much less for controlling power-wielders and greedy oppressors or liars. A man-made god is always conned, being but an idol, not so the intent of faith in a real divinity. Whatever the

shenanigans of organized religion to create a path to an imaginary god that by-passes volitional self-sacrifice, it’s fiction. The faith-based path to faith-based divinity and to wherever that may lead is one of selflessness, of self-sacrifice, of total abandonment to that divinity’s will. And where does that lead? To insane inner joy even while walking through a hell of sorrow.

So, what is that “will?” The funny thing about God’s will is that it cannot, ever, be found at the beginning of one’s walk. One has to “give in” and take the journey without ever looking back. One must turn from selfishness to servant-hood before any understanding can

manifest in the mind. I know this because I’ve passed through that stage. I know how it works and I know that organized religion’s sole purpose is to guarantee that no one will ever get it. Nothing is more dangerous to the organization than the one who has discovered how to synchronize one’s will with that of a faith-based divine will. Once

that is grasped, there is no need for religion anymore. Obedience is all that matters and that is the key to self-empowerment.

Do you see what I have done? I’ve logically concluded that this faith-based divinity can be none other than myself. I made a covenant with myself to think a certain way, to reason and live in such a way. Then I placed myself on the altar in obedience to my life choice.

This is where the vast majority of Earthian sheeple bleat their frustration, their anger, their rejection. Sheep, by nature, obey the herd instinct. Sheeple are bound by groupthink. There’s nary an independent mind among them and that one is always on the brink of being discovered and eliminated as a threat to the herd. Religions serve the herd. Faith serves only the individual.

By dropping the now-utterly useless God label and trusting in one’s self to make all life and death decisions, that is what self-empowerment means. One thing I’m sure of, it will not lead me to that never-never land the sheeple call heaven. For that I’m thankful. I’ve seen enough “heaven” here on earth to know I’ve had enough of it. But let me add this: I know, as a personal inner awareness, that I am an infinite being with infinite life behind and before me. My “home” is the cosmos and my “assurance of salvation” is the degree of compassion I express to myself and the world I exist within – however temporary the relationship.

Quote: An unconventional individual is never bound by conventional wisdom, tradition or belief system. (anonymous)

Quote: Milena lived in a culture that replicated itself endlessly but never gave birth to anything new. (Child Garden – Geoff Ryman)

 

 

A Very Bad Choice

A very bad Choice
[thoughts from   ~burning woman~  ]

Without thinking much about it, it seems that in my mind I’ve taken this time, this summer, as a time of reflection. That exercise has caused me to come face-to-face with continuing aspects of my thinking, and consequently expressing, that I often literally despise. I chose, because it is always the easiest path, to engage aspects of “this world” that I know I should have been done with long ago.

Do I really want to engage the various political, economic and even religious aspects of the so-called pandemic? No, I do not.

Do I really want to engage the many unsavory aspects of America’s president and join the choruses that chant his demise? No, I do not.

Do I want to belabour the point of those “working” Canadians who choose not to return to work because they are getting a temporary COVOD-19 relief from their government and it’s beach season? No, I do not.

Do I want to carry the heavy personal burden regarding victims of war, refugees, and the deaths by famine continuing to plague this world? No, I do not.

Do I want to live with visions of genocide and the plight of migrant workers in my mind? No, I do not. 

There are many other such questions to which I could also reply, No, I do not, and I base this on my personal inability to do anything about the things brought to my mind by the media, acquaintances, other bloggers, friends, even clients.

If you demonstrate that you are a conscientious person, those around you will want to engage you; will want to know how you respond to the questions that plague us all.

What if I have developed a real conscience? What if I hold to myself that being a compassionate person is the highest any sentient can ever hope to achieve? What if it is more than a belief; what if it is demonstrated to me in both, positive and negative ways, simply by the way I respond to a query, to a crisis; how I engage it; what I’m willing (or not) to invest of myself in these? What if they are brought to my attention but remain beyond my reach to intervene?

I haven’t had much to say lately. Some off the cuff remarks here and there about man’s ongoing, repetitive follies and their drastic consequences, but of substance? None, nothing. When I was seriously religious, these dog days of summer were called the dark night of the soul. I think they should more appropriately be thought of as the dark days of the mind.

I have not been “religious” for some decades now, and I certainly do not miss that aspect of my life… except for the teachings that came with it, that uncomfortable aspect of religion that most faith cling-ons as a general rule refuse to consider.

In Christianity there is a central teaching called “the gospel” found, not surprisingly, in the synoptic gospels purporting to tell the story of Jesus’ ministry in Galilee, in which he lays out the personal costs that will always be demanded of those who chose to walk that particular path.

Two things I know now. One, I left Christianity, not because it was difficult but because it was impossible to not be in it except as a complete hypocrite. Two: when I encountered “the Teachers” it became clear to me as they expounded on how to live a human life that much of what they presented me with I already knew because, again not surprisingly, I had, read, studied and learned much of it from the biblical gospels.

I was reminded that the foundation of a human life is to become (you must become before you can be) good, kind, humble, a peace maker without exception, patient, gentle, inclusive and of course, compassionate. These were not “extras” you had the option to practice after you were baptized, after you voluntarily and with a clear mind, literally gave your life to Jesus. The proof that  you lived thus would be stamped on your admittance ticket. If they were not, profess away, it would avail nothing. 

Something terrible has befallen man in these last days, something unthinkable. The creature has chosen to fall from grace, not the grace of discipleship to a god, but the grace that accompanies living the life of a real human. Our world is sick; our civilization is imploding; our religions are compromised and corrupt beyond any hope of redemption – all of them, no exception; our moral values have plummeted into the negative wherein vices are more often than not accounted as virtues.

Currently our world is being driven to the edge of its abyss by greed, felony, perversion of justice, lies stacked upon lies, reviling and mocking, and finally murder; mass murder. Life holds no sanctity because the morality that, even if weakly, supported our social institutions some years back, instead of being built upon, was smashed down with utter abandon, as if ridding society of all moral constraint was the guarantee that society would improve.

Well, don’t take my word for it when I say that people, as a collective, have made a very bad choice. Just look around, and do a little reading, a little studying.

I close by saying that I have never been so disappointed, dispirited and disgusted by myself, first and foremost, and by my fellow earth walkers as I am during this time of reflection.

 

What do “I” want out of Life?

[thoughts from   ~burning woman~   by Sha’Tara]

What do “I” want out of life? The stock answer is found in a scan of some sort of mental list, or to look back over a thin memory and say, well, I want this or that which my situation hasn’t allowed me to have yet. Some missed opportunity at riches or notoriety; re-living and “fixing” a failed love affair, traveling the world, being one of the first Earthians to walk on Mars, the usual.

New thought: think of it this way: over 8 billion Earthians on one small planet doing its best to supply life but unable in the normal course of things.  The Earthians, instead of curbing their excess populations, resorted to building cities to cram their excess into. Now think: of the 8 billions, at least 6 of those are excess population; a population that can never, ever, know what it means to live a normal, natural, good life.

But even those who live on the outskirts of cities and even farther out, are living in artificial accommodations and surrounded by artificial means of life support provided/forced by scientists, technocrats, drug and medical cartels, bankers, agri-business, and the ubiquitous corporate elites’ dictates.

Now think: what if this massive majority of artificially-living Earthians have literally gone stark raving mad but there is no one left to point it out to them, or if there was, they have grown incapable of understanding what that means? What if the certifiable insane is now the sane, without any remaining ability to question it?

If a normal, natural lifestyle demands – yes, demands – that all the accoutrements of modern Earthian living be abandoned in order for the coming generations to re-discover how to live without the madness of their forebears, could the mad artificial folk of the day ever agree to such a tradeoff? A few might see it, but most would reject the idea out of hand as insane.  In the world of the crazies it’s the sane who are declared insane.

Now think again: where do you think the vast majority of Earthians mentally reside between the normal sanity of natural living and the madness of artificial survival?  I’m not good with graphs, but on a scale of one to ten, let’s say one being natural normal, and ten being the extreme unnatural artificial, i.e., the creature that has no chance of surviving without artificial means in nature’s wilderness, where does the majority of Earthians lie?  From my point of view, I see it at the eight mark. At that I believe I’m being too generous. It should probably be a nine-point-five to a ten.

So out of morbid curiosity about myself, what do “I” want, leaving “expectations” out of it?

Suppose I go back over this one life and look at what I’ve mostly always wanted.

I wanted to live in a sane world with some rather basic rules. No laws, just obvious rules. The first one was, if I possess something in excess and I know of another who needs it then that no longer belongs to me but to the one who has need of it. I also knew that once that whatever left my hands, I no longer needed to exercise any control over it. Whomever “had it” was now responsible for its use. I also knew for a fact that anything I thus gave up I could never claim back. If I give something away, the recipient owes me nothing, not even recognition. It’s just natural flow.

Mostly I wanted to live in a thoroughly peaceful world. My world had no place for conflict of any kind, least of all for war or preparation for war. These concept are totally anathema to my understanding of life. War is anti-life, however it is done or reasoned. War is evil from the get-go. Those who plan for war in any form, are evil people. What to say then of those benighted individuals who “join up” to fight evil men’s wars?

Mostly I wanted to live in a world where there is no such thing as predation. In my world nothing is killed for the survival of another. This goes from a sub-atomic particle to a galaxy. In my world all of life, however it manifests, is sacred and no one, or nothing, would ever claim to have the right to absorb, abuse or destroy that life.

Mostly I wanted to live in a world where “evil” is unknown; where it never had a foothold. A world without fear; without oppression; without danger, fears, tears or sorrow. A world without pain-filled loss. A world without death unless it is desired as a means of reaching greater understanding and greater awareness.

I didn’t want to live in some Utopia. If you’ve ever read the book you’ll know why. I just wanted to live in a good world. A safe for all world. A clean natural world. A world suitable for children to play in, grow up in, have children of their own in and know all of it is “never have to look over your shoulder” safe. A world in which violence is anathema.

I think that in my many “wanderings” and mental/spiritual quests I have found that world. My intent is to go there once I’ve completed my turn of duty here. I know it won’t be a permanent place for me, but it will give me a much needed and welcome break from experiencing these lower astral worlds.

I wanted something this world would not give me so I found another world that would. Over the years many have asked me how I did that, or how I could be so sure I had done it. The closest answer I could, or can, give is a sigh and a shrug. There is no answer. It’s a question of self empowerment; of self confidence; of inner spiritual force and accepted guidance. It’s a question of “investment” of decades of one’s life to seek out a path based on one’s redefined nature. It might even be a question of learned and practiced humility…?

But how do I really know? Well there is a self test I can use. The whole thing hinges on how much I have been able to change myself in going from basic Earthian selfishness to living the compassionate life. To the compassionate being all good worlds are open, evil worlds easily detected and avoided. As of today I can’t think of a better way to live a lifetime than to spend it learning how to become a compassionate being.

 

Antierra Manifesto-blog post #89

(In which an unexpected but hoped-for development changes the way the game is played.)

The difference between I and them is obvious to me in this moment.  They are more intelligent than I, being in their own element.  They are better equipped to understand.  They are more aware of the obvious.  And certainly they have more experience.  So what do they need of me?  They need the catalyst, that which forces change.  That’s all I am.  I have to put myself in the center of this latent force to create the explosion.  I am the mine that causes the avalanche; the detonator that causes the charge to blow.
End blog post #88
_________________________
Begin blog post #89

So I say, “Good, we talk.  Now I tell you truth.  You women, you know answers to question already.  Is all in heart, I say true.  This I know.  What you say is only little bit what each one know deep in heart.  Afraid you are say stupid thing, other women make fun, get angry, think stupid.  So now I stupid speak for all.  I speak heart stupid for all women.  Listen.

“Is possible love all men.  Is possible be only good, not do evil to men like men ask.  Is possible everything.  But not safe to do, not always wise to do.  If women refuse obey men, women all killed, yes?”  They grunt agreement. 

“Agree.  Not good thing.  But if evil in man come from hidden beast, how to fight evil?  Must find other way.  Satisfy men, satisfy women.  How Anti beat evil Warmo?”

“Fight Warmo.  Kill Warmo.  This we know.  This we do always.  No good.  More Warmo men come.  Same thing happen.”

“If Warmo say, ‘Sorry, I do this no more.’  What Antierra do now?”

“Kill.  Warmo lie to save life.  Anyone lie to save life.”

“If Warmo say truth and I kill, who wrong now?”

“Warmo do wrong, die.  Cannot live.  Do more evil.  Truth not important.  Kill Warmo important.”

“Wrong.  Truth important.  If Warmo tell truth, Anti let live, Anti die.  Warmo different now.  Spirit of Anti in Warmo.  Try to help women.  Change many things.  See King, see good doctor.  Powerful man make life better for all women.  Is possible.”

“This stupid speak, Anti?”  The question comes from a very young, newly arrived trainee, a gorok.

I reply emphatically seeing a real opportunity to reveal the ‘humble’ and totally honest/innocent side of the Teaching:  “Yes this stupid speak – my stupid speak.  Say what many afraid to say.  Say that maybe woman can hear man talk in heart; understand man.  Love man.  Not for favour from man, but make man feel good.  Say that maybe man good too.  Say push evil out into shadow, speak with man as speak with woman.  Kind.  Stupid speak say even if man hit woman, not understand, woman still love man; not hate; not fear.  This stupid speak from old, stupid Anti.  I know no more.  You – all you – decide how you live.  As always same… or try stupid speak.”

The young trainee gorok speaks again.  “I be #1341-15-07.  Tieka is name I give goddess to know by.  I not want be fighter.  I thinking maybe I die, not kill man.  See too many evil things.  I no want do bad to man.  Now I stupid speak too, to all women,”  She indicates all the cages with her arms, “kill me if no like.  I be having love with man.  Special good feeling.  He be having love with me.  He no take other women, only me.  He touch me, I feel good.  I touch him, he say he feel good too.  He look at me, I feel good.  I have love for man.  He have love for Tieka.  I keep this now.  If I kill man, I kill love feeling too.  So must die to keep.  This he know.  He very sad for me.  Cry.  I see water on face.  He good man; he very good man.  I too very sad for him.”

I hear gasps and grumblings all over the cages at this revelation.  But this is an omen, much more powerful than anything I could have said or done, more powerful than any storm that could bring this keep down.  This is the key to our victory.  After all the years I spent here, this is the first public expression of a woman’s love for a man, or a man’s for a woman (taking her words for it and I entertain not a moment’s doubt that this child is telling the whole truth – she has put her life on the line for it among her peers.)

Now it’s my turn.  To be perfectly understood I choose pidgin talk again.  “Gorok Tieka doing stupid speak for all us.  Listen from heart now, women.  Listen to girl-woman Tieka with love in heart.  This I say is great gift from goddess now.  This Tieka strong woman, stronger than all us.  Ready to die for love of man.  Die terrible death you all know – flogging for not obeying.  And maybe if man found, he too die terrible death.  Evil now ready to destroy this love.  Is like little green thing grow by stone wall near wash trough.  Do we pull little green thing and give to trainers to destroy?  Do we hide, protect?  What we do now?”

Silence greets my question.  Then from farther in the cages a woman speaks: “Kill gorok.  She make big trouble for all.  Stupid.  Make gorok tell of man, report man to handlers.  Then I say kill gorok.  This big, big trouble.”

Hate.  Fear.  Jealousy.  Reactions to something new, challenging, dangerous, and the basic pseudo-human selfishness that resents something that could benefit another but not the self.  I must counter this thought with logical reasoning, not emotion.

“Listen women.  This from toughest fighter you see ever.  I say we take gorok in heart.  She be new change for us, this place.  I say we find power to keep Tieka from arena.  I say we protect love, all us, do what can to save from evil.  I say we make vow.  We protect, hide Tieka and man.  Say we find heart way for escape from here, take man with her, go into desert, into south far, far away from men, from evil eye. 

“Now must know.  Must hear from fighter who say ‘kill gorok’ – need know how woman feel now.  Must know deep heart truth from woman; if fighter talk to trainers, if  have Tieka and man killed.  Must all know.”

I hear guttural noises deep in the cages.  Angry talking.  I wait, trying not to listen to the arguments.  I hold Tiki close to me, wondering what she is thinking.  She hasn’t said a word, yet this was the same argument we had had long ago.  How do you love in such a place?

The same condemning voice is raised above the wind and sound of whipped rain on the tiled roof far above.  “I be woman who say ‘kill gorok.’  Friend and I talk.  We think this change dangerous but maybe good like Teacher say.  I be Gonda.  On name I promise protect gorok Tieka.  Promise to help if can.  Understand why must do this now.  I think time for change come for us all. I think Desert Beast coming awake for us.”

The effect is electric.  General agreement is voiced throughout the compound and all those near Tieka put their hands on her.  In their hearts they are intoning a protection chant over her.  We have unity of spirit.  I squeeze Tiki’s hand and whisper to her, “Things changing Tiki.  Much sorrow yet to have but things changing for good now.”   She wraps her arms around me and squeezes hard, holding on and sharing her joy at being part of this, not, I sense, understanding it all and a bit lost in the process.  After all, she is one of those  purebred fighters, the result of the breeding of certain lines for qualities desired.  In some ways she is much like the Cholradil with little latitude for choice.  How could she understand Tieka’s abhorrence of killing?  In the worlds of compromised morality… well, I have to admit, there be different levels of ‘love’ evidently.   Antierra old girl, there’s hope for you to learn new tricks yet.

Now the truly difficult part: to detach from these momentous events so as not to get devastated if disaster strikes ‘tomorrow’ – if someone recants and sells out Tieka or if the lovers do something truly stupid.  Win, lose or draw, I must carry on.  Other matters to attend to.

End blog post #89

Perspective on Time

a perhaps poem,  by   ~burning woman~  

Perspective on Time

Are you the Goddess? asks the child in innocence
from a world in quasi-ruins — Are you the one
they say, who’s to return and change things?

The vision, of ageless mien and beauty, smiled
Never fear, child, I am no Goddess
though in my foolishness and ignorance
such did I believe myself to be once.

I do not understand
spoke she, innocent eyes taking in the majesty of the being.

The simplest things are often the most difficult to understand
but I will explain and you will understand me.

Once upon a time in time lived a truly beautiful young woman
and through eternity rode a young God who offered his hand
and a promise to make her his queen in time.

She took it, and eagerly, so proud was she of her beauty
and together they rode through the flowing sands of time
across the universe of time, to its very edge.

She saw the horizon there and asked him what lay beyond.
Beyond what? he replied, confused, even irritated.
There is no beyond – we’re at the edge of time,
at the edge of the realm of the Gods.
I am of the Time Lords and nothing — absolutely nothing
exists beyond our realm. And proud he was,
and so sure of his claim upon the All That Is.

He turned and they rode on
and though the beauty and excitement she experienced
were almost too much for her heart to bear
in her dreams she kept seeing the edge of time
and beyond, the shimmering horizon. And she thought
she could hear music calling her to put words in it.

I want to return to the edge of the worlds
she said one day, suppressing a yawn,
for I am getting bored with this unchanging landscape,
this museum to time you call a throne.

It is no longer permitted, said he,
for they heard of your longing and they said it was evil.
Evil, you hear?
and he raised his voice to her,
but it was he who was filled with fear, not she.

In the dark of night she arose, fled her comfortable dungeon.
Taking her black stallion she rode madly under the stars
out of the Gods’ enchantments and across the universe.
Finally, exhausted, starving, and utterly alone
she dismounted, sent the spent horse back, and stared:

For there it was once more: the magic shimmer,
the dancing line beyond the edge of time
calling her into a new dream.

I jumped, child. I jumped into an ocean without time
and I swam madly at first until I tired and stopped struggling
then it supported me and I walked as upon a rolling carpet,
then I stopped walking and it floated me and I flew,
a star among stars and there was no longer any line — anywhere.
That’s when I saw it for myself,
the gift of freedom stolen by the Time Lords:
infinity.

How come then you are no longer a Goddess?
the child asked perplexed, if you are so strong?

Ah child, let me tell you a terrible secret:
the Gods and their Goddesses are slaves —
slaves of time and bound to it forever —
for they made it, and it must begin and it must end.
So within its walls they declared themselves the Eternals:
only in frozen eternity can Gods and Goddesses exist.

But I, in seeking beyond the edge of light;
in probing the shimmering darkness of the unknowable
found my power and earned my freedom
and you, in holding to your innocence
can hear me, and thus if you so choose
may you reject the hand of the Time Lord when he rides by,
asks for your hand and offers you
a seat of honor upon his throne of time where you will become
as a priceless work of art in a gallery
where such works are as common as grains of sand
upon an ocean’s shore.

And just as asleep.

Beware, human child, of what is easily offered, given;
beware even more of easy acceptance.
For such gifts have to them a very dark side.
Some day, after the Time Lords have wooed you;
if you refuse their token love,
if you remain steadfast to this vision
I shall pass by again,
not to offer you my hand for you to follow,
but to be a companion, should you be wanting one.

And no one can know what songs we shall sing,
there, anywhere, everywhere
and forever as we plunge laughing

into the unmade.