Tag Archives: faith

If Only this Damned Rain would Stop

[a poem by ~burning woman~ ]

If only, she sighed heavily
it was raining harsh and hard
on the shelter’s tin roof
spring flowers taking a pounding
across the street in a stranger’s yard
I wish it didn’t remind me of the bombings
the screams, the shouts and the blood
the running away scared in the dark
the fires lighting lurid shadows
when death lurked everywhere

If only I didn’t feel
this anger, this terror, this hopelessness
when my little sister was killed
my older brother carried her
until his strength failed and he could not
we buried her under rubble
so she would not be found
her body desecrated

If only I could remember
something else, something
that did not hurt so much
if I could hear her voice singing
just once more, oh, just once more remembering
how her beautiful slender fingers
made our piano keys dance
and we all smiled with tears in our eyes

If only I could still be sure
I believed in heaven once
God was good to us when we were at peace
we prayed, we worshiped dutifully
as was expected. It seemed right
but now it makes no sense anymore
after they stole everything
and destroyed our home

If only this could be home again
but it will never be home, never
the people here hate us and fear us
if only they knew what their hate does
how it killed my beautiful little sister
how it killed me
I am dead now
their hate can no longer kill me, just hurt

If only, she thought
this damned rain would stop, just
stop.

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There is a Book

[thoughts from   ~burning woman~   ]

With so many comments either set aside or poorly answered; with the fantasy novel (finished, by the way) waiting to be posted on the blog and my job appointment book filling up, the last thing I need is another post stirring up more controversy.

Still, I must live up to my reputation. I’ve been called a lot of things over the years, few complimentary, recently an anarchist (which I consider a compliment) and a contrarian (which is akin to a trouble maker for no good reason and that’s not a compliment, not even with green eggs and ham, Sam I Am) while all I’m doing is questioning everything. Why do I do that? Because everything should be questioned and it’s the task of any intelligent individual to do so.

Nothing should ever be taken for granted, accepted without proof, or dismissed as of no consequence even when its track record screams: “I’m going to destroy your civilization, with yourself and yours in it!” We’re so used to seeing the writing on the wall these days, we just call it graffiti and turn away shrugging, smiling or laughing.

There’s a book that is titled: “Solutions to all Problems” and it’s the only book you can find in any library. It’s the only book you get when you enter grade one, the only book you will receive subsequently until you finish your stint in high school, college or university. The only book you will ever read. It’s the book all institutions use, including the United Nations. It might even surprise you to discover that it’s the only book Donald Trump has ever attempted to read… in pop-up format.

That book has millions of titles, one of the best known is the Bible, of course. It has millions of introductions and millions of ways wherein the contents are filled in. It’s a wonderful book. I see it here, or at least excerpts of it, on Word Press all the time.

The reason this book is so popular and acceptable is simple: it doesn’t actually contain any real solution to anything at all. That’s its purpose: to propose solutions that are based on ideas hatched by dead smart guys, or interpreters of dead smart guys, or people who figgered out a way to cash in on dead smart guys ideas. It rehashes failed “solutions” to any and every problem without an iota of shame for doing this. It’s like watching an ever-running soap opera, you know, the “people with no lives watching people with fake lives” sort of book.

So try to imagine somebody (like me for example) saying that the book is fake; that it should be burned, not banned, good Lord no, never banned, that would only make it more popular! Burned. Discarded. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust. An end to it.

Then, lo and behold, we would be free to write an entirely new book and none of the contents would be based on the old “Solutions to all Problems” fantasy.

Having said that, I’ve been having thoughts about fascism and Nazism, including Zionism, lately. My thoughts ran on the question: why have these horrible anti-life, anti-human ideologies become so powerful and popular in the last century and increasingly so in this one?

There was a simple answer: Darwinism. Of course. Darwinism denies the humanity of man. It claims that man is just another evolved critter that crawled out of the much and mire some million years ago and joined in the race to dominate. It brushes off any attempt at dialogue regarding human behaviour such as morals, virtues and vices, the sense of what is right and what is wrong.

That sort of religion was custom made for fascists, Nazis and Zionists. It claims we live in a world strictly ruled by the survival of the fittest. How that fittest becomes fittest is irrelevant, all that matters is, the fittest must make it to the top of the pyramid of power and control. It’s nature, you see? If you question that you’re insane, of course.

If that means cruelly exploiting, oppressing, or murdering millions, so be it. There is nothing wrong in exercising one’s supremacy any way it works. It’s nature’s food chain. None of what you do to change that has any meaning, nor can it succeed.

That’s the essence of Darwinism.

Now, ask me why I would hate even the mention of such a religion, and make no mistake, it is a religion. It is designed to fool to numbties into thinking that when they switch from worshiping the infamous Jehovah to worshiping Superiority through race, misogyny, imperial subjugation or financial shenanigans, they are “atheists” and are cleansed from the curse of religiosity!

Just another title to The Book. The contents are always the same.

Your call!

[thoughts from ~burning woman~ by Sha’Tara]

Something that puzzles me this morning. There are so many things that actually do puzzle me but this one, this one, takes the cake.

Balance. There is even an old Chinese symbol for it: the yin-yang.

 Yin-yang symb2
 As a general rule, at least for people who take a couple of minutes a day to actually think about something, balance is thought of as a good thing. Necessary.

Imagine a world not in balance we say, or a universe. We naturally assume we live within some kind of great see-saw which guarantees that we won’t get thrown off.

We assume that when ‘this’ happens over here, ‘that’ (being its opposite) happens over there and all’s well with the world.

Where did we ever get that idea from? Well, it has to do with belief systems and of course, brainwashing, a method of indoctrination that simply has no equal. Once brainwashed: addicted for life. Exceptions noted: they prove the rule.

Do we live in a balanced universe? Oh, never mind the universe, what do we know about that apart from nothing. What about this world? Is this an example of a balanced world?

Apart from the fact that through some freak of biology there is approximately the same ratio of males to females among the Earthian species, and if we don’t look too closely on how that little miracle is accomplished, what about the rest?

Balance in nature is achieved through a madness called predation. We call it that, what it calls itself is another story. Another approach dear to the heart is survival of the fittest. Through ripping apart, destroying, killing, murdering, we, or our world and us, achieve, so we are forced to believe, the wonderful state of balance.

Is there as much “good” as there is “evil” on this world, fact-wise? Could it be proven either way? No. So we look at whatever evidence is thrown our way and we see depending on the evidence we have access to and how we’re trained to believe.

While we’re focused on this see-saw, we do not see because we never saw. That’s the problem.

We don’t realize that we don’t have to believe in the see-saw.

Rather, using our own brains, or mind if we really are the daring sort, we can say, to hell with the see-saw. Balance is a joke, a lie. How can there be balance in any finite environment? Balance is an absolute, like love. You can’t have it, or do it, incrementally.

You can’t begin in unbalanced chaos, reach a state of balance, then lose it again in terminal chaos. That’s a fairy tale of gargantuan proportions. It’s a lie.

When we reach that elementary stage of reasoning we see it all crashing down, the yin-yang symbol becomes push-pull and tears apart, blood, guts and gore gushing everywhere.

We were lied to about balance? Oh surely no more than we were lied to about God, about politics, about economics. No more than we’re being lied to right now about everything.

Do we need balance? Should we be seeking balance? What are the benefits of balance, or who benefits from balance? I’m not going to dignify those questions with an answer because if you can’t see it, my answer would only cause anger. To a brainwashed person nothing is more insulting or threatening than a fact, or a truth, that exposes cherished beliefs as being carefully fabricated lies.

Imagine you’ve spent all of your born-again life dutifully paying for your favourite televangelist’s private jets and turning on the TV one Sunday morning he comes on and says, “Thanks a lot folks, but I’ve made enough money now and I regret to say I’m quitting: God is dead.” How could you possibly accept the fact that for once in his life your preacher was telling the truth?

The problem with balance is this: if I do good in the world, balance will demand… a balancing. The more good some people do, the more evil other people ‘must’ do. The conclusion is, do no good at all and no one else will have to do any evil at all. No good=no evil. That’s your perfect state of balance. That’s your wonderful *Brave New World.

I like to wake up in the morning with a great thought, a powerfully motivating thought, more important even than breakfast. This morning I had this thought. Knowing what I know now, if I were starting a family again, had my two sweet little daughters again, this is what I would tell them, each and every morning before they went to school:

“I want you to be nothing but kind, gentle, caring, accepting, loving, generous in praise and in offering help to all this day. Nothing else you do, or are told to do, is as important as this.”

When they came home and we had our time in the evening, I would ask them about their day, and how it all went. I’m sure they would have much to say about their experiences trying to live an alternative lifestyle! They might have even been subjected to mocking or to other indignities – all of which would prove my point about Earthians and their chuildren, but would go a long way to educate my own two children in the things that really matter.

But it does not end there. I would say to them, I have to be your example of the things I ask you to do, and to be. So when you see me failing, don’t let me get away with it. Call me up on it. Point it out. I am asking you to live the most dangerous life so you can be my teachers.

Forget balance, it’s a chimera.

(*Reference is to Aldous Huxley’s dystopian novel)

 

Folding Space and other Tales

         [voice from the other side – by Sha’Tara]
    Parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus.” (The Mountains are in labour, a ridiculous mouse is born.) – Horace
   
“A beginning is a very delicate time…  In this time the most precious substance in the universe is the spice mélange… The spice extends life; the spice expands consciousness; the spice is vital to space travel.  The Spacing Guild and its navigators whom the spice has mutated for thousands of years use the orange spice gas which gives them the ability to fold space – which means travel to any part of the universe without moving. (Excerpt from Princess Irulan’s “Opening” – Dune – by Frank Herbert)
    Some may remember the movie, “Phenomenon.”  At the time the movie came out, I was asked, “The light George Malley saw, where did it come from?” (I’ll get back to that)
    I had a dream some time ago, location a “parallel earth” – same as this one in general aspect, but containing serious differences.  In this dream I was looking for an animal that was a cross between a squirrel, a cat and a rabbit.  I did not believe such things existed, yet I saw them.  I took a picture of one with a digital camera (in the dream – I don’t have it to put on this screen unfortunately ) and was almost able to pet the animal.  There were many people in this world I recognized, though none of them live on this Earth. 
 
   Where is this “parallel Earth”?  Where does that particular reality reside in space?  If we answer, “It does not – it’s just a dream” – then how is it we can interact with it with such detail?  Where do dreams come from?  Who does the elaborate “staging” so we can just walk in and experience it all as if it were home?
    How did Frank Herbert perceive his characters “folding space” and traveling to any part of the known universe without moving?  How do you move something without moving it?  Does it come to you, or do you go to it?
(This reminds me of the saying, “if the mountain will not come to Mohamed, then Mohamed will have to go to the mountain.”)
 
    Our type of life exists as a blatant, in your face, contradiction.  Some call it polarity.  Opposites.  It doesn’t matter what you call it – it’s the contradiction that makes it real.  So real we lose track of the contradiction and create mountains from mole-hills – our sacrosanct belief systems.  We are infested with belief systems, every single one a complete brainwash.  We can’t see the forest for the trees and we spend our precious illusory ‘moments’ going through the invisible (indivisible) forest, counting trees, deciding which are good, which are bad, cutting some down, planting others, sawing them up into lumber and building our castles in Spain; sad remnants of consensus-driven belief systems.
    Eventually, our limiting belief systems based on body-maintenance energy tell us that the “forest” is running out and in our quest for “new” sources of energy we move from trees to coal, to crude oil, to electricity, to hydrogen, to whatever – each a limiting and destructive concept of energy misuse.  We cannot see that the “forest” did not get destroyed – it simply disappeared into the mists of Avalon where our Matrix-induced lives cannot go. 
    As we move deeper into the illusion of the physical, the mists that hide reality thicken and we simply turn away thinking we’ve seen to the end and there’s nothing beyond.  Sure, we can  plunder a limited-concept world of its resources.  We can, through belief systems imposed upon a mute world condemn billions to horrible death, but can we plunder life itself?
 
   George saw a light that struck him down to the pavement.  It came from the stars, but the canopy of stars were in his head – part of the great consensual belief system that sustains people in this world.  By introducing the “alien” in his thought patterns, everything changed for him.  Unfortunately, he didn’t know how to deal with it – it overloaded his brain circuits and he died.  He saw too much, too fast, of a reality not bound by his Earthian consensus beliefs.  He became a mutant without shores.  The new world he interacted with was too big, did not have the necessary boundaries his will demanded and it tore him apart.  To survive such an “awakening” one must have spent a lifetime learning to detach from consensus reality, even while functioning within it without violating its basic rules – being a fringe dweller by choice.
 
   The Space Guild Navigators “folded” space by using what George could not.  They had learned to transcend consensus reality to some degree and to  superimpose a greater reality of their own upon it – that of “distance” as a mind concept.  They became adepts at this and were able to bring “things” into their reality in order to “move” them from point to point.  The object to be transported was brought into the greater navigator mind (dream), and “translated” instantly in the other part of reality in the navigator’s mind (or dream) – the part agreed upon earlier where the object wished to be.  Nothing moved.  A reality shift, that’s all.
    Once the “translation” was accomplished, the object was again in its smaller, space-bound reality.  If it left planet “A” and traveled to planet “D” 20 light years away, it believed it had actually “traveled” that entire distance because of some strange power kept secret by the Space Guild navigators.  The object (person) could not return to planet “A” without going through the Space Guild or, if the technology existed to physically travel “real” space with a machine, or ship, at the speed of light and finding everything on planet “A” now twenty years older.
   Yet even so, the spacing guild was itself a slave.  Every guild navigator was a total spice addict.  Without the spice, the navigator was blind in space.  Yes, even the ability to fold space was but a mountainous effort giving birth of a ridiculous mouse; on par with the (did they, or didn’t they?) Apollo moon landings and moon walks.
    I knew someone working with a concept called “the law of attraction.”  That supposed “law” only works for those who write and sell books, or make movies, about it.  It’s just another aspect of religious faith.  Isn’t it interesting that something so basic to the workings of life’s contradictory flow would be so little understood?  That any power that can be called “the law of attraction” or “faith” resides within my own mind, nowhere else? 
     That is as it should be when those we trust to be teachers are bound brain, hand and foot to quantifiable observations, even when they speak holy, invoking divinities and/or spirits.  They have no imagination because long ago they bought the Matrix lie that imagination is for children and is useless in the day-to-day workings of the “real” world.  These “teachers” then become the living dead, zombies bound by their lesser reality of a physical universe that exists only in a tiny part of their mind – the part their brain can electrically interact with and be affected by.  Everything else of necessity must remain myth, fiction, fantasy; the unreality of dreams not understood.
    To travel in space you must leave the old verbal garbage behind: God talk, country talk, mother talk, love talk, party talk. You must learn to exist with no religion, no country, no allies. You must learn to live alone in silence.” — William S. Burroughs

Obsolescent and Pointless


[Thoughts from   ~burning woman~   by Sha’Tara]

I’ve been thinking a lot more about man’s civilization.  There’s a word that keeps coming up: obsolescent.  According to the definition, that word means something is on the way to becoming obsolete.  Implied: it isn’t there yet, but most likely to become so.  We know that all systems tend towards entropy, a state in which no energy is available to do any work.  It’s there but not in any usable form.
To plagiarize the “Good Lord” and his introductions to some parables: “And to what shall I compare this Earthian civilization?  There was a man who was looking for transportation, for a car.  He walked and walked and came to a town, not surprisingly named “Car Town” and he being in search of a Car, decided to find one in this town.  He walked around and counted eleven car dealerships.  Every dealership, he noticed, had hundreds of cars for sale, compact, subcompact, medium size, and some big monsters.  There was a wonderful array of colours of cars to choose from, and many sales people waved at him from office windows, and from the yards.
    Finally he entered a dealership and was accosted by a saleswoman who excitedly brought him to their special of the week.  It was a lovely car.  He asked for the key so he could try it out.  Her face fell at the request, but she dutifully produced the key and he tried to start it.  It turned over but wouldn’t start.  Another car did start but died just as he was entering the street.  Another had two flat tires.  On and on.  He went to dealership after dealership but none of their cars worked properly.  There was always something wrong, or he could tell that none would last any length of time and he’d be wasting his money.
    Despondent, he walked out into the outskirts of the town, towards the slums.  Over the barking of dogs and the jeers of kids “just hanging” he heard the sound of a motor.  Intrigued he went down an alley between derelict house trailers to find a young girl and a boy working over a cart in which was installed a small motor.  He noticed that the motor had a v-belt pulley and a belt that went to another pulley on the rear axle of the cart.  The girl got in the cart and engaged a lever that pushed an idler pulley against the inside of the v-belt, thus transferring the power to the rear wheels and the cart jumped forward and she threaded it through several obstacles in the yard, then down the alley and disappeared.
    The man approached the boy and said, “That is an amazing piece of work, and it can be used for transportation as well?”  “Yes” replied the boy, “my sister is going to use it to fetch groceries and stuff for granny and granpa ’cause they can’t walk to the store anymore and it’s dangerous for old people to walk the streets – they are often attacked by gangs of kids, for their money.”
    “I see” said the man, “So when you are old enough for a license, you’re going to buy a real car from one of the dealers in town?”
    “Not a chance,” replied the boy, “None of their junk works.  They used too, so says granny, but they rushed and rushed to build them, using cheaper and cheaper parts so they could display more cars but eventually they were so badly built none of them ran.  I’m going to build my own car once I can afford to have proper parts made for it.  I have a friend whose mom is a welder, and my teacher was an army engineer.  He’s going to help me build it.  I don’t imagine it’ll be fancy, but it will run, that’s the main thing.” 
    Thus endeth the parable. 
    There are many I realize, who still hope and pray and wish, and have faith in the greater love of man, that those beautifully useless cars in the dealer car lots of Car Town can yet be fixed and put on the road.  I can’t blame them for their faith in man: I’ve been there and I know how hard it is to let go of the self-delusion and face the music of the times.  This civilization isn’t going anywhere but down.  It is obsolescent.
    It is more than obsolescent, if that wasn’t enough: it has become redundant, pointless, meaningless.  There will be nothing new to sprout under this sun. Let me mention a couple of things I read about recently that illustrate where this society is going.  You be the judge here.  The following quote is from yesterday’s article by George Monbiot titled, Urge, Splurge, Purge – monbiot.com
    QUOTE: “A system that depends on growth can survive only if we progressively lose our ability to make reasoned decisions. After our needs, then strong desires, then faint desires have been met, we must keep buying goods and services we neither need nor want, induced by marketing to abandon our discriminating faculties and succumb instead to impulse.
    You can now buy a selfie toaster, that burns an image of your own face onto your bread – the Turin Shroud of toast. You can buy beer for dogs and wine for cats; a toilet roll holder that sends a message to your phone when the paper is running out; a $30 branded brick; a hairbrush that informs you whether or not you are brushing your hair correctly. Panasonic intends to produce a mobile fridge that, in response to a voice command, will deliver beers to your chair.
    Urge, splurge, purge: we are sucked into a cycle of compulsion followed by consumption, followed by the periodic detoxing of ourselves or our homes, like Romans making themselves sick after eating, so that we can cram more in. Continued economic growth depends on continued disposal: unless we rapidly junk the goods we buy, it fails. The growth economy and the throwaway society cannot be separated. Environmental destruction is not a by-product of this system. It is a necessary element.”
    Can a society pushed willy-nilly by such marketing techniques, have any future?  Does it deserve to have one?  Let’s try a simpler question: what would it take, using any of the tried (and failed) methods of religious-political-financial self-correction, to fix such a society?  Rhetorical questions, to which we all know the answer(s).
In the New Testament (Christian bible) the book of 1 Corinthians, chapter 13, verse 13 concludes with: “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.  But the greatest of these is love.” 
Let’s look at that because many people get a good, warm, emotional response from reading this quote.  It’s pure propaganda, and poisonous to the mind.  As a detached, self empowered being I have no need of faith, hope and love, nor is love the greatest.  It isn’t “love” that makes people support the system, to the detriment of everything that has any qualifiable value.  It’s primarily faith.  Faith makes people cast about for an answer when they sense that something isn’t right.  Faith says, vote in someone else, or buy a different brand or type of food.  Drive a different car, or use public transit.  Install solar panels on your house and “get off the grid.”
As if!  Are the appliances used, the food ingested, the roads used, the water, sewer, computers, heat or house construction, maintenance and repairs “off the grid”?
A better question: can an entire city of say, 10 million people, exist without a “grid” to make it function?  Isn’t a city in essence a machine?  A machine needs many things to function before it even begins to operate whatever it is supposed to operate.  Are the mines that scour out the minerals that become the metals that are used to build high-rises for example, “off the grid”?  Are the gas and oil companies off the grid? No.  The Tooth Fairy is off the grid, of that I’m pretty certain ’cause the Tooth Fairy doesn’t live in any city.  She only visits to leave small change.  But no city, and no resident of said city, can ever claim to live off the grid.
Can we say, let’s go off the grid incrementally, as is now proposed in so many articles and books available to read?  Unless we mean only one small aspect of “the grid” (say, hydro electricity) our efforts are entirely wasted unless we also control the source of the materials we use to “go off the grid” with.  The biggest problem with the “off the grid” chimera is technology.  You cannot have any technology and claim to be moving off the grid: it won’t let you because “THE GRID” is what technology is all about.  It is THE GRID.  Just think “Internet” and try to imagine THAT being off the grid, and see where that leaves you.  In the dark, and I don’t mean the dark web.  Your ISP is THE GRID.  Your government and banks are THE GRID.  And so on, and so on.  Everything Matrix is grid.  Nothing is incremental about the Matrix: it’s a dictatorial power, all or nothing.  It will let you use solar or wind power if it can profit from it, and control how you use it, and how much.  Can’t put meters on wind, or sun energy? Hah! Bad bet.
A California based water corporation, I think it was the Bechtel Corporation, managed to have laws enacted in certain cities of Latin America whereby they “owned” rain water and the people literally had to rebel against their local councils to regain control of their right to collect rain water without having to pay for it.  Those who collected rain water without paying a tax on it were fined, or jailed.  Oh yes, it is all about money, never about life.
And… that is why this global civilization is obsolescent.  It has become a predatory, bloody, sectarian, self-centered, selfish, decadent exercise in utter stupidity, foolishness and meaninglessness.  When this entire global civilization collapses and dies, so will the Matrix die with it.  Whatever survives of the Earthian ISSA beings will be of necessity “off the grid” and they will build something truly new, something as yet unheard of.  This isn’t “hope” on my part, it’s from the certainty of observation.
Oh yes, we can “see” the future. It’s not “nothing” as yet.  It exists, of necessity, since what we construe of as “the present” is simply the future sliding past our observation point into the past.  If we can “see” the future as little as a minute hence, that means it already exists.  If it exists a minute hence, it exists beyond any time definition.  We can learn to stretch that minute into years, centuries, millennia even, since “time” is an artificial construct of our #1 enemies: the Time Lords.  Some people call this state of awareness “imagination” and some say that those who see the future are “the dreamers” but it is neither.  What it is, is a reality we have been told is taboo to look into.  Why don’t we stop being children, stop living “by faith” and grow up?  It could mean billions of lives saved, not to mention much of the planet’s ecology.
What to think, when all around of what is familiar is being destroyed or falling apart?  Know that it is not a death, but a renewal.  The cocoon that has nurtured and constrained man’s civilization is breaking open.  A scary necessity. 
I want to do more than see my wings: I want to use them.

Maybe life isn’t meant to be taken seriously?

              [thoughts from   ~burning woman~   by Sha’Tara]

I’ll start with a few chosen quotes…which I may use later to illustrate some points.

“Propagandists are experts at convincing clueless dolts it’s raining when their government is actually pissing down their backs.” (1EarthUnited-WordPress)

“It is not good for man to cherish a solitary ambition. Unless there be those around him, by whose example he may regulate himself, his thoughts, desires, and hopes will become extravagant, and he the semblance, perhaps the reality, of a madman.” ― Nathaniel Hawthorne

“Modern anxiety is expressed in the longing for what most people fear, even as modern grief is expressed in the unconsummated mourning for what they never really had.” ― Joseph Roach

There are connections between those quotes.  Who, for example, listens to propagandists?  Well, people who feel a terrible need to take everything seriously, like me, for example.  Only I go a step further: I go to all the trouble of rejecting their propaganda, which means that I had to first, listen to them, then make the effort to realize they are liars, then tell myself I was filling my mind with lies and I needed to exert extra energy to cleanse my mind of their lies.  Stupid.

Who but someone who takes things too seriously, particularly herself, would cherish a solitary ambition?  What’s the point of practicing the art of abnegation; of extreme unselfishness; of giving and giving until nothing remains but a husk when you know at the beginning of the exercise the more you give, the more you go along, the more you clean after, the more will be expected and demanded until a plantation field hand slave is richer and better cared for than you?

Let me paraphrase something I read in the Bible a long time ago.  In the King James version it said, “be anxious for nothing… your father in heaven knows your needs and as he takes care of the birds of the air, so he’ll take care of you when you serve him.”  I said, paraphrase, remember?  But that’s the gist of what I was taught.  I believed it too – I wanted to believe it, and as I was raised in relative poverty, often in a kind of hand-to-mouth existence, I needed to believe it because even as a child I saw many people much worse off than I, or my family, ever were.  Being raised very religious I thought I needed to understand God.  I never did – for the record. 

So I thought, well, maybe I’m supposed to be “god” – not in the fabulous (blasphemous) sense taught by all false religions, but in the giving, caring, understanding, helping and also the warning sense.  I should have written, to be “like” God – and that didn’t pan out either because the more serious I got, and the more ways I sought to maximize my personal efforts on behalf of the less fortunate, the less like God I became because the more I actually cared about justice and the less I cared about what people believed.

That brings me to writing about the greatest loss of my life: when I lost “God.”  As I quoted above, Joseph Roach said, “modern grief is expressed in the unconsummated mourning for what they never really had.”  That’s how it was: I grieved for the loss of something I never had, I just imagined (powerfully so) that I’d had it.  The mourning I experienced lasted years, and it returns time and again and I have to make a huge and deliberate effort to shake it off, send it away.  

You see, this loss I experienced was that of a comfort that gave no comfort, just the idea of it.  I had faith in an idea; my love was for an idea; an idea I idealized to the point where I expected “it” to empower me to live a good, righteous, selfless, basically “sinless” life and this ideal would make this life short enough that I could see it to the end without ever having time to doubt.  

That’s taking life seriously. 

In all likelihood I will continue to take life seriously… but not today.  Not right now.  I’ve been following the antics of “the world” as they spin off from Washington, the Pentagon, Wall Street and the very same “trinity of bull shit” in every other nation on the planet, trying desperately to make sense of something, and well, it would take even greater faith than I poured into “God” in the first half of my life to believe that in all this “information” pouring into my brain, any of it matters.

As of right now, until whenever, I’m saying yes, I’ve been taking life way too seriously.  Humanity is a joke.  A very bad joke, but a joke nevertheless.  It’s an orgy of dysfunction that is in love with itself and seeks to expand itself exponentially – and does. 

But listen, it isn’t just man that’s gone off the reservation.  All of life on earth is nuts – certifiable.  It’s not immediately obvious to most people because they don’t look at the tapestry from a certain distance, they look at it piecemeal.  They don’t see the dysfunction of a predatory system that rules everything here.  Were it not for the massive and on-going killing, everything would have been overrun long ago and earth would be massive dead swamps and deserts.  That’s the legacy of this world if its modus operandi doesn’t change.

Did it start as a massive joke from some long-gone “creators” for their entertainment, or did some programming go wrong?  Either way, it’s now laugh or cry, and today, I’m laughing!  A dysfunction of such massive proportions dwarfs the shenanigans of the Greek, Roman and Nordic gods.  Man doesn’t need gods, man is the gods.  Everyone is a participant in the final playoffs.  Whether it’s the Hunger Games or The Price is Right… enjoy the game.  Give yourself a great, loud belly laugh, today.  As Robert DeNiro so famously said, “Let’s worry about next time, next time.”

 A couple more quotes, to close.

“My experience of life is that it is not divided up into genres; it’s a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel. You know, with a bit of pornography if you’re lucky.” ― Alan Moore

  “We are not idealized wild things.  We are imperfect mortal beings, aware of that mortality even as we push it away, failed by our very complication, so wired that when we mourn our losses we also mourn, for better or for worse, ourselves. As we were. As we are no longer. As we will one day not be at all.” ― Joan Didion

I am Nothing, I am but a Chimera

[thoughts from    ~burning woman~   by Sha’Tara]

I harbor in my mind this wonderful thought: that I am Nothing.  If I am Nothing, then I don’t need anything.  I don’t crowd other life, demanding space for myself.  I don’t consume, eat, absorb, collect and hoard “stuff” because being Nothing, I need nothing.  I can walk, or float if I wish, observing and learning. 

In this wonderful and recurrent vision, I walk among earth life somewhat unseen.  If I am touched, I can realize this but the other, the one who touches is only aware of a shadow, some sense that “something” happened and a diminishing sense of dread, or transport.  

Being Nothing, I have an infinite number of choices on how I interact with the world around me.  There is nothing that world can do about my choices because being Nothing, I cannot be controlled in any aspect of my life.  Being Nothing I do not need approval or love, nor do I care if fear, hatred or indifference is expressed towards me.   

This is interesting, and I am curious: could Nothing be feared? Could Nothing be hated, resented? Could Nothing be loved?  Could Nothing render a presence of divinity?  

Of course it can; it always does though it is not thought of as Nothing.  Though Nothing cannot be seen it can be sensed in the sense of being a Chimera.  I know how fearful or awed people can be of the Chimeras planted in their minds from childhood and from particular stages of their lives. 

What are those Chimeras?  They are what is believed outright without personal experience of, nor proof of; something “everybody” believes they know while actually knowing nothing about it.  Something believed because “someone” or “something” in authority said it was so.  Because someone taught so.  Chimeras are born of faith in Gods, teachers, preachers, leaders, entertainers, bankers, lovers, doctors, scientists.  They pass their Chimeras on to the world and while they are being used as a convenience (and always for profit and mind-control) they are simultaneously gestated into a next generation so they may guarantee the endless turning of the squirrel cage.  

The world is full of Chimeras.  Gods, of course, top the list, but enemies are the most used models.  They are a particular species of very convenient Chimera – always needed and in a constant state of being invented and given to poetic license.  Enemies allow people to hide their own failings and evil inside a Chimera, a Demon whom they fondly hope will never be encountered for that would create a reality shift problem.  That is why “refugees” (the enemy) are a major problem: by their presence they create a breakdown of faith in the chimerical mental construct.  Once allowed in they no longer serve as a convenient Chimera and new ones must be invented.  As Pooh would say, “Oh, bother!”

Lesser Chimeras are other people’s beliefs that don’t jive with ours.  If we create the alternative fact that theirs are evil, then we can conveniently claim that ours are good and pure.  More Chimeras are other people’s races and skin tone; gender or language or how they interact and even how they eat. 

Chimeras are the mind-prisons of the Somethings.  I know this because when I exist as a Something, I bring my Chimeras to life, and how they love to dance their dance of death with me. 

That being explained, it remains that the most dangerous Chimera is someone who is Nothing.  Someone who cannot be manipulated, controlled, pushed into a corner, dummied down, bought, imprisoned or “frightened to death” using any of society’s control mechanisms.  Someone who doesn’t have an ego to be stroked. Someone who is always free regardless of circumstances.

It is a truism that what we own, owns us.  By that same token, what we believe also owns us.  When we are owned, we are slaves. 

What I enjoy most about being Nothing is I can live with nothing and I can choose whether to feel fear, or loathing, or anger, or express love unconditionally, or feel happiness, or simply enjoy quiet comfort whereas a Something can only experience a part of those choices. 

Nothing can sit on a cloud and sleep until the cloud dissipates, then glide along on the wind, perhaps to land on a ship on the high seas, on an island or on a high mountain or in the middle of the desert where Nothing communes alone with Joy. 

Nothing can wander freely in the middle of a war zone unscathed, except for the burning pain of ever-present Sorrow, that being a given.  

Being Nothing would serve no purpose if Nothing could not live in the constant experience of knowing Joy and Sorrow intimately.  That is, after all, the whole point of being Nothing – to experience living a life in total freedom of choice; where consequences do not raise questions of conscience because they affect only Nothing.  They never harm, nor hurt the ego-beings: the Anythings or Somethings.  Emotionally a Nothing is a closed system.  What a Nothing experiences doesn’t affect the external world at all.

Can a physical entity, or being, be Nothing apart from dreams and visions?  That would be some trick now, wouldn’t it? 

A Nothing Chimera walks between the worlds of man and that of spirit.  Can the embodied Nothing join those two worlds and if it did, what must be the outcome?