(I’m really falling behind in following up on posting the “Manifesto” and sorry about that, I know it makes it difficult to follow the story through these gaps. I’ll try to get back on track, but no promise as long as work keeps interfering with my life… dang it all!)
The process: Access, study, feel, understand, delete. Yeah, I should have been a Cydroid. For it is one of our truisms that we, human and Avatari alike, cannot delete our past; cannot disown it. We can but dis-empower or empower it according to our present need and understanding.
And in my sleep I dream of the constant we call “evil” but it is a sweet dream, not a nightmare.
[end blog post #54]
[begin blog post #55]
From chronicler Michele Dellman, T’Sing Tarleyn historian for the Supremacy.
Galactic date-year 67,854, classic date-year [?] (Not available at this time to this reporter due to the amount of chaos resulting from the attacks upon, and subsequent destruction of the fortified city of Hyrete)
The following was put together from antique memcorder cards found in the medical facility that served the Hyrete arena where the female gladiators, or fighters as they were called, were kept in a massive arrangement of cages behind stone walls twenty or more meters high and several meters thick, protected by an actual moat and a most sophisticated array of alarm systems.
The following set was not written by the historical figure called An’Tierra but by someone with access to a computer linked to an off-world ship that transcribed her thoughts, probably while she was under sedation and receiving secret and illegal medical treatment in an old auto-medic mentioned by her but subsequently never found. An educated guess here is that the transcriber was one of the Echinoza Cydroids purportedly from another mythical world called Koron.
These are but copies of long-lost originals. Note that she refers to herself as “Al’Tara” – name of a pseudo-historical figure on Old Earth that appears under other names in annals of the Supremacy pre-and post-dating the Melkiar wars. The name “Al’Tara” was, it is said, her name as an Altarian, that is, as a human being [or one of the mythical Avatari?] from the ‘lost’ or “hidden” world of Altaria.
‘I’ve seen many things in my travels as Al’Tara. Wonders and horrors. I’ve easily accepted the wonders, yes, and marvelled. I’ve also accepted the natural horrors; movements in the chaos side of space/time giving rise to massive destruction of entire worlds. I’ve faced the possible extinction of entire galaxies and all the riches and life they hold. I’ve participated in many rescue attempts, some successful, most not. I rejoiced at our successes and accepted our failures.
During my many passages upon Old Earth, or Túat Har, I observed natural predators, from viruses to large mammals and even plants. And not long ago I was a participant in the Melkiar wars. I even encountered some of their robotic life forms. Probed them to discover they had been uniquely programmed to kill, but without malice or intent to hurt. Predators kill to perpetuate their species. The Melkiars only destroyed that which they were designed to consider inimical concepts to their nature.
But never, never have I been able to accept, let alone comprehend, evil. Evil is not that which destroys or even kills. Evil, as I have observed it, is that which causes pain and hurt to others with intent based in sentient malevolence. Evil is that which is done with malice aforethought. It is planned to produce pain in another so that the perpetrator will feel a surge of sadistic pleasure by inflicting the pain. It’s ultimate purpose is to destroy the will of its victims, to crush them until nothing remains. That is how I describe evil.
The perpetrator of evil, the true sadist, needs to actually perform the pain-inducing act upon another, always helpless, victim; never on someone who has a chance of fighting back. The true sadist never takes a chance on getting hurt. If his victim manages to inflict pain on him, this reduces his level of pleasure and correspondingly increases his level of anger and hate towards the victim.
Malefactus – I must explain why I call it that. A malefactor is an evil doer; a law breaker. But here you find a specific law-breaker, speaking of course of that one and only law written in, and for, the entire cosmos, or wherever life may be found, the law that says we must all care; all protect the innocent and the weak in order to strengthen them. We must “love” the other in our power not as ourselves, but more, much more, than ourselves – beyond anything we would do for ourselves! We must develop and practice compassion to the highest level possible within our understanding.
On Malefactus, the perpetrator; the law breaker; the malefactor; is male. The male factor of T’Sing Tarleyn, the “World of Man” is an utterly evil mindset. The male ISSA beings here cannot apparently help themselves, true, but they also do not wish to do so. They enjoy being what they are; doing what they do. Their social mores are predicated upon the total oppression of the female. Their economy such as it is, being but a caricature of a true economy is totally dependent on active misogyny. Their judicial system ensconces it, preventing anyone from avoiding it. As for their religious system, I have not, as yet, discovered if they have one and if they do, how it relates to that particular rampant evil that rules T’Sing Tarleyn.
Regarding the men, I cannot have a real conversation with any of them so it is dangerous to draw any solid conclusion about their state of mind. They are pseudo-human, therefore they have to be consciously aware of the law at some level. They are not mindless predators but perpetrators of evil behaviour. Much in the way the people of Old Earth were also aware of it. Yet they live as if it did not exist for them. But I wonder, aren’t there some throw-back types among them that actually “fall in love” with a female? Some who would want to protect her, hide her, find her a safe haven somewhere, even if it cost him his life? Is there no physical love except among the women?
I have seen no open demonstration of homosexuality and that seems strange on such a world. But then should it be, if males simply cannot love at all? If all they can do is “fuck” and all they know is that it is done with females and then only in the form of “hate rape” resulting in violence done to her?
There is another aspect of evil I still fail to understand. I believe that humans are all equipped to “see” beauty with some variations, but within a general unifying whole. We are also equally equipped to see ugliness, also with variations but with a general similarity. Outside of this awareness are what I refer to as the exceptions. Those who have the concepts turned around in their minds and hearts. Some, because they are sick but some because they are simply put, evil. On some worlds, these “exceptions” do not prove the rule, they are the rule.
Evil loves to mar and destroy beauty. From defacement of buildings with graffiti to smashing windows, polluting and destroying the natural environment, mistreating animals, including in this all hunting and fishing done for sport, beating and raping women, oppressing children, oppressing and enslaving those who are helpless and without protection. Take it in any order, it all comes down to the same thing. Destruction of that which exhibits beauty gives evil types psychopathic pleasure. What kind of force drives ISSA beings to find pleasure in marring that which is beautiful?
Evil: I have no other answer. None of the answers I’ve heard, read about or considered, answer the question in a more understandable fashion.
So, how do I understand Malefactus, a world where the only pleasure experienced seems to be in causing the maximum of pain to helpless victims? Since I’ve been here in these cages, the training compound, and the bloody arena, I’ve met – yes, and befriended – hundreds of young girls who did not survive their first time in the arena and women who succumbed to their opponents. I’ve seen them viciously beaten, raped, tortured. I’ve heard them scream for mercy and watched them being killed without qualm on the part of the male perpetrators.
I’ve seen them dismembered for their body parts and have helped pick up the mangled bloody corpses and torsos. I’ve taken them in my arms, their blood covering my body as I carried them and placed them as gently as I could upon the putrefaction-covered auto-driven flat decked ‘haulers’ and which in my heart I reverently call hearses, thus giving a moment of human acknowledgment to the dead martyrs whose bodies are taken away I know not exactly where though I suspect it is to the outer desert sands for vultures to feed upon.
In the worlds of true humans and even in the worlds of pseudo-humans such as Old Earth I have seen much beauty. But never have I seen anything to compare to the combination of natural beauty and intelligence seen, first in a child and second, in a young human female. It surpasses all. Somehow that is the particular beauty that the evil of misogyny lurking in the pseudo-human heart targets before all else.
I will not close my eyes to this terrible legacy life has somehow, either naturally or by some horrible mistake, bestowed upon all of us. I will continue to look into this concept of evil for an answer. What is the motivation behind this force? Is it lust? Hate? Fear? Does evil begin with one and end with the other, and if so, in what direction does it flow? Do you begin with a heart full of vices and by indulging some, or all, end up evil? Are we what we do, or what we become as we act in accordance with what we discover ourselves to be? This may seem like a chicken and egg conundrum, but that has already been solved. In timeless reality, the “chicken” can indeed lay the egg from which it is hatched. There is no beginning and no ending, only questions and answers that we use as “artificial” points of reference (called beginnings and endings) by which we define infinity.
I’m a philosopher by experience but also because I am a natural-born Altarian. We are doers, of course, but not exactly fools who rush in where angels fear to tread. Before we act we seek to know. Of course it is not always possible to know, since knowledge emanates from a blend of experience and information. So we act on what we’ve studied and already know from experience and attempt to move forward. Thus we are more than what we do; we do not necessarily act according to what we are – that is, what we have become. We do not allow nature or programming to box us in so easily. As the doctor pointed out, we have a devious mind developed for one purpose: to thread its way unerringly through the labyrinth of life. That labyrinth takes us, of necessity, through the darkest paths of hell — through the experience of evil.
[end blog post #55