Backing Away

[thoughts from   ~burning woman~  by Sha’Tara]

I’ve always “known” the world I found myself existing upon was not my world. Somehow though, I did manage to create an illusion, based upon my physical attributes, that I could belong here for the body’s duration. I went through the motions of being alive; of adapting; of participating. I played the game, I played along, most of the time.

There were serious bumps along the way as I made myself aware of the injustice, the mindless violence, the equally mindless drive by so many to cut themselves, or snatch or steal or beg, a piece of civilization’s dwindling pie. I watched the privileged few take ever bigger slices to try and find new, esoteric tastes for their bloated palate. Mostly I watched the millions not so privileged taking advantage of the temporary scraps that fell from the rich man’s table and the billions sifting through the floor and street sweepings to assuage their constant, endless hunger and that of their children.

I also watched as consumerism and greed ate away at this finite world. For a time, not knowing any better, I fought these errors and horrors. I tried to make a few at least see common sense. It seemed so important at the time, and it helped diffuse my own angst and anger. I thought, if I had to live here shouldn’t I want to live in a just, kind, compassionate society? And why could I not have that since what I wanted just happened to make a lot more sense than what my society wanted? Surely, I thought, once people were shown the error of their ways as they related to their world, the less fortunate and yes, including those non-human sentients raised to be food meat, they would desire to change their system of exploitation and oppression?

Time and wisdom taught otherwise. There would be talk, much talk, but nothing would change. Now there’s talk that the totalitarian measures imposed on society in the guise of fighting a virus will make people rethink their ways. I already know they will not. People will adapt, of course, to growing shortages of various things, as they always do in any war, and make no mistake this pandemic is a war declared by the super rich upon society in order to rob them of what little they have left.

While this seems obvious to me, it isn’t for the many, not yet. They still need to believe that their Big Brother loves them and cares so much for them He is willing to destroy society’s very fabric and raison d’etre, even to killing them and their children to save them. Such an absolute contradiction is beyond their mental capacity to reason. Reasoning the why’s and wherefores takes energy which to them seems a waste. 

So I’m thinking now is the time to back off as society makes its choice. I believe and observe that it is a deadly wrong choice but I choose to proceed, not as a member of some collective but as an individual against that herd choice.

I realize that to dissent and reject “the new normal” is to make myself an enemy of the herd with the possibility of being declared an outcast but so be it. There has never been a better stage upon which I can practice compassion as a self empowered individual. There was never a time like this when my choice to be a dissenter; to not vote; to not hope for change to come from accumulated power made more sense. I should be thankful. Perhaps I will develop that particular virtue yet before the universal taxi stops at my door and I have to go.