[thoughts from ~burning woman~ by Sha’Tara]
I’ve got a theory about life. Actually, I have a million theories, but let’s not quibble on that. Ask any philosopher or scientist, theories are not just fun, they’re the stuff life is made of.
There’s a mega problem with theories, however. Once something is no longer theory; once it has morphed into some sort of man-invented, man-made “reality” the juice, the sparkles, run out of it. It becomes our bane. We call it the status quo.
I mean, look at some basics: religious, political and financial theories. We now have a global civilization circumscribed by three stodgy, miserable old maids that not so long ago were beautiful vivacious and totally uncertain young girls dancing, one on the top of a hill under the stars looking for her god, one by the shore of the sea, hoping for a mariner to sail up to the shore and take her away and another by a stream, watched by a doe and her two fawns, dreaming of love while from the other side, hidden behind a stump, a young boy stared in awe.
As you can tell by today’s world condition, that was a very long time ago when religion was yet but the spirit of life; when politics were but groups of people trying to find ways to make sense of their growing collectives and help one-another. As for finance, well, that was but a way to share the bounties of the earth when direct exchange had become too cumbersome.
All three young maidens were taken in their time. A god came down from the stars and religion went with him. A mariner did come to the shore in his tall ship and politics happily boarded. That boy came out of hiding, crossed the stream and finance thought him so handsome, holding his hand she forded the stream and entered his world.
So here’s the theory. Everyone of us is born with a hole in our heart. There is no exception to this, none. That hole is a very uncomfortable condition, as you may remember, so the first thing you do is look for something to fill it.
According to the theory, this is when it all begins. I mean, this is what defines mankind, or as people have been programmed to think of themselves, where “humanity” begins to see itself. It begins with a hole, a gigantic hole that demands to be filled the moment the first breath is drawn.
You see how that can be a problem, right? That’s some inheritance we got stuck with, some cosmic dirty trick. The worst part is, though we spend our life trying to fill that hole, we don’t even realize that’s what we are engaged and engrossed in doing. When someone asks, what do you do for a living we don’t say, “I’m a hole filler.” We use other, more socially acceptable terms to describe our occupation, like, “I’m a lawyer; I’m a plumber; I’m a nurse; I’m a teacher; I’m a pilot.”
What does it mean, that we look for ways to fill that heart hole? It means, first of all, some relationship, with mom, dad, siblings. Then toys, trinkets, food, favourite things, the family cat, dog. It goes on from there to friends, more things, lovers, belief systems, settling and settling down or acquiring and acquiring more. From the malleable to the hard. From the undefinable to the defined. One square peg after another hammered mercilessly into that round, empty hole. Some, too many, will go to any extreme, commit any unthinkable crime in attempts to fill that hole.
From theory to reality. But the hole, it remains just as unfilled at the last breath as it was on the first one because all that man-made garbage that was hammered into it, once it clears the top, it falls right through.