[thoughts from ~burning woman~ by Sha’Tara]
Who wants to read this, hear this, I was thinking. Then again, does it matter? I need to write these thoughts or they will remain undigested in my mind and slowly poison it.
I’ve noticed over the last few years that when I sit with another person, or a few people, as they speak and as I listen, my eyes wander off, their line of sight moving deliberately away from the speaker. They will lock onto some object and hold it. I know it’s not the object they are observing but rather desperately trying to see that which is within, or behind, the object: that which is invisible, yet very much there. This focusing effect is so powerful that often I notice everybody else turned and staring in the same direction I am. “Nothing, nothing, I’m just listening,” I’ll say, because they seem convinced I am looking at something they all should be able to see. If I told them I was looking at a chair leg shadow, or an upside-down book spine on a shelf, they’d think I was simply bored with the conversation.
What is it that attracts the eyes thus? I think I know now, and I have a new “name” or description for that invisible visitor: the Interpreter.
When people speak, they speak of their lives; of events within their world; of information they have garnered, usually very recently, from the news media, or social media and supplying their personal interpretations of such. Of course they are not speaking just words as if one were reading a book, or listening to a lecture. They are telling a story that exposes who they really are. Do they want to be heard on such a deep level? Usually not.
Much of what takes place here is subconscious. Usually we only listen to the sounds the speaker makes: her words. Either we do not want to, or we do not know how, to listen to the real story. Perhaps, we are afraid of entering into a space that will demand some personal commitment when we move past the hearing part to the listening. Or we are afraid of the power to “read minds” as some call it, of intrusion, and we think, what if I’m wrong?
That’s where the Interpreter comes in.
I don’t know if everyone is accompanied by an Interpreter or whether it comes only to those who seek to interact with their world compassionately. I suspect the latter. I suspect that most conversations remain on the purely physical level, with hearers focusing on the speaker, her tone of voice, her facial expressions, the movement of her hands, or entire body. And of course there is often the sexual aspect coming into it, as the speaker morphs into a sex object to some. Though usually vehemently denied, especially by women, that is often one of the effects the speaker wishes to achieve. That’s the physically-centered Earthian species and no Interpreter needed on this level.
The Interpreter which the eyes desperately desire to bring into focus so it can be made a part of the usual façade cannot be so tricked. If a hearer truly seeks to become a Listener, the Interpreter will take her into a sort of trance where the speaker’s true motives for speaking are exposed. The speaker’s story is then heard on two levels: the shallow, normal word level, and the speaker’s life level.
To listen this way is socially risky and one needs to learn to remain quiet as this very personal information is digested. You can’t respond to the deep “stuff” directly, so you learn to respond to the surface expressions, keeping the deeper awareness for a later time… or for never, using it only for your own edification.
That too, I file into the expanding realm of self-empowerment. Unless it can be knowingly used for healing, or comforting, no one needs to hear what I learned of a speaker from the Interpreter. It can remain on the observer level.