“Why worry about what can kill you tomorrow when so many things can kill you tonight?” 

(title is a remembered quote from the movie, “Lord of War”)
[thoughts from  ~burning woman~  through Airin WilloWitch, a.k.a., Sha’Tara]

I’m sure that title and quote is also a paraphrase of something else I’ve read somewhere in my travels.  It is a line however that I have often thought about.  What does that mean to me?  Does it mean, in the hedonistic biblical sense, “Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die!”?  Throw caution to the wind, live for the moment, and the Devil take the hindmost?  (Or the lion if you happen to be a wildebeest?)

While I completely disagree with the common politically correct phrase, “we’re all in this together” (which is obvious bullshit in spades when you think about it seriously for a split second) there is definitely one thing we all have in common: death.  Whatever we do to avoid it, and believe me that the amount of money people spend to try to avoid it is beyond staggering (well, OK, I don’t know how much, I just know it’s a whole lot more than that), we simply can’t.  Death is our constant companion through life.  We’re born to die, with a little lunch break in-between we call life.

No, I’m not trying to cheer you up, but I’m not trying to depress you either as both would defeat my purpose.  I haven’t (yet) said anything you don’t already know so if this feels uncomfortable, think of it as a reality check – and try to make sure it doesn’t bounce.  Hell hath no fury like the Devil holding a bounced check and you could be looking at a fate worse than death – but I’m ahead of myself here and I hate it when I have to keep looking back while writing, it’s so hard on the neck.

Two questions arise from the above: why worry?  And what is death?  And from that let’s extract this gem: is all of our worry concerned with the possibility that we may die, suddenly and inexplicably, or that we may be driven to death by any number of means or reasons: bankrupted into abject poverty; contracting an incurable, terminal disease; arrested for murder and though not guilty convicted of same in a death penalty state; accident?

So, why do we worry?  Why are so many people stressed to the max and depressed today?  What happened to the real, un-faked happiness, the verve, the “joie de vivre”?  What is this terrible darkness that is descending upon the planet and which seems to only increase every time some major man-made event happens?  Why can’t we have at least one major truly joyful man-made event of gargantuan proportions to celebrate ourselves within, as a species?  Why must everything of major import be sad, dreadful, horrible, hopeless, destructive, death-dealing, polluting with no end in sight when we are sick and tired of hearing all about it, or of experiencing it?  Or, why, if we are of the hopeful types, must what we hope for be forever out of reach, more often receding from our grasp than approaching it?  Why does the carrot always turn into a stick?

I think it all goes back to death.  Consciously we may choose to ignore the monster and try to live relatively normal, happy lives among those we love or the society we fit in, but subconsciously “it” is always there, just like *Joe Black, not always recognized for what it is but suspected, distrusted and feared; the entity with its own agenda over which no one has any control.  Death, the great equalizer it’s been called.  Well, I don’t know: I see a lot of death, I don’t see much equality arising from its presence, quite the contrary.  Death is like that bouncing ball that after it’s set a bouncing, every time it’s touched it bounces even more wildly and unpredictably.

In a moment of wild ecstasy I suppose, John Donne wrote “death thou shalt die.”  Literally or figuratively?  It really doesn’t matter how, it matters more when.  Until now man has been the slave of death and the certainty of having to face that executioner has caused man to behave in very irrational and contradictory ways.  For the average Earthian, the way to avoid death is to be the first to deal death to some whose existence is perceived as a threat.  This knee-jerk reaction is called war, man’s most precious invention.  The one he spends the most resources upon by far; his joy, his baby, his heritage.  Makes me want to write an ode to war, or a love poem: “O dear war, how I missed thee in the dark hours of peace and how I praise thee now that thee are back, filling that aching void in my human heart, O dear war promise, O promise me thou shalt never abandon me again, I could not bear it!”  Well, that’s a start.  Dark humour, but how far from the truth of the matter?  So we kill in a vain attempt to save our own life, a life that was forfeit from the moment we were conceived.

OK, so I’m not looking for rationality among the species, I know such a thing is anathema to man’s thinking.  I’m just wondering if there is a cure to worry.  Let’s spread the net.  All animal life dies, sooner than later, here.  Do animals worry about dying?  I don’t think they do, although many animals experience powerful emotions when one of them dies, some more than others.  They know about death; about the end of the body, but they don’t seem to be worried about their own coming death.  It’s only when the predator appears that they resort to their fight or flight mode.  And if they get sick they do not linger.  Either they can heal themselves or they quickly give themselves over to death without any struggle.

For whatever reason, Earthians are very different from the animals in the matter of death.  Animals don’t form armies to attack and decimate their enemies.  They may be territorial for logistical purposes but they don’t try to expand their “empires” outside limits set by the Alpha male of the tribe.  Those outside the limits are safe from attack and free of harassment.  Animals kill to survive, not to enhance their own personal power or “wealth” as the expense of others.  {Oh please God, make me into an animal this minute!  Amen!}  Animals do not cling to life when evidence shows the game is up: they gracefully surrender their bodies to the earth and very quickly no evidence remains of their passage.

It is foolish to worry, even more so to allow oneself to get depressed.  Depression isn’t a disease, it’s the dirty diaper of the spoiled and entitled modern bratty human who wants more than it’s willing to get for itself or share and give to others.  Depression comes from a “I want it, and I want it now” civilization whose technology provided a lot of stupid, unnecessary and polluting toys and that continues to promise even more toys while the natural resources that fueled that technology are being wasted by overuse and war or vanishing from the planet in waves of entropic energy like climate change.  Depression from not getting what one feels entitled to leads to worry about more serious things, like losing one’s home or having no money to buy basic necessities such as food or losing one’s children through violence… Ah yes, the list of things that cause worry is long indeed.

So, I choose to live by my first quote.  I don’t worry about what could kill me tomorrow.  I think about the things lurking in the night of my mind, the things tonight, that can kill me.  I think about the dangers of reverting back to being a common Earthians; of waking up tomorrow morning worrying about food, clothing, shelter, money, what’s been stolen in the night, etc.  I think about spiritual regression and mental devaluation from nightly visitations of “demons” from the darkness of the Matrix.  I think of the horror of discovering I’m no longer immune to the foibles of man but rather fully back in their clutches.  I think about what it would be like to lose my sense of self empowerment, of knowing what I am; of losing sight of my purpose… in the night.  And I shudder.  That would be worse than any conceivable depression.

Ah, but I’m a witch!  I have spells to protect myself from demons who would steal my self-made personhood:  “I think my own thoughts, therefore I am my own person.” And spells also to protect me from well-meaning Earthians who would also destroy me with their verbal weapons of mass distraction: “I Choose Me.”  And then I remember that death is a gift, my doorway out of this place and to another I know about and look forward to – and no, sorry, it’s not heaven!  And when does death die?  It dies for me when I kill it by transcending it every moment of every day.

*Joe Black: reference is to the movie, Meet Joe Black, with Brad Pitt as death.

 

 

 

 

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24 thoughts on ““Why worry about what can kill you tomorrow when so many things can kill you tonight?” 

    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      That is a good thought, but “reality” does not seem to support it. If people, I mean real people, who raise real kids really cared about the kind of future they are leaving their real grandchildren, they’d be a whole lot more inclined to at the very least support those who volunteer their time, their years, their lives even, to fight for the protection of the natural environment. Call me jaded, but as an activist environmentalist, what I remember most from our little efforts to stem the tides of industrial expansion over agricultural lands and pristine state lands was jeers and put-downs. WE were trouble makers to the not so silent majority that followed the carrot of promised higher paying jobs and better days ahead. I remember getting death threats from local business people because our activities threatened their profits, and in some cases actually blocked those profits, for years. A tiny minority of “trouble makers” fought Goliath for years. We won some battles and lost the war. Now the world is inheriting what it chose not to fight for.

      Sorry Maria, but I don’t think people are even capable of worrying about anyone else but their personal, immediate comfort and satisfaction. Sure, now that the ugliness of environmental degradation is becoming blatant, some are worried. With Donald Trump at the help of the world’s #1 polluter and military power, more are becoming worried… but it is still for themselves, and perhaps their immediate families, but mostly for themselves. There should be millions of people standing with the Sioux at Standing Rock. Where are the concerned people? Selfishness is the primary trait of the Earthian creature. I’m always open to proof contradicting my statements of course.

      Reply
      1. Maria Wind Talker

        Yes I do agree. I guess those of us who do really care about our children and grandchildren future are in the minority. I too have been called a rebel/trouble causer all my life for speaking up and protesting but over the years I’ve noticed a shift in people’s awareness. It may be small in comparison to the nay Sayers but it is growing daily. Standing rock is a total disgrace, media black out globally. Thankfully FB has proven a great resource in getting the word out. I personally share all the live feeds that I follow, on my page and in several groups to raise awareness and I’m trying to raise funds to get out there from the UK if I can. Apparently people are being stopped, arrested and the supplies they were taking for the camp, confiscated. I would agree to a point that selfishness is the human primary trait, but I only see it in westernised civilisations. Even in my own culture which used to be about community and sustainability has turned into a dog eat dog society. I have been shunned for nearly 21yrs by my family because I would never confirm or ignore injustice. But we gotta keep up the good fight Sha’Tara, even a single match brings light into a darkened room. ❤

      2. Sha'Tara Post author

        Hi Maria, I totally agree with your last sentence… TOTALLY. That’s what I call self-empowerment. It’s compassion without expectations.

        Having said that, Standing Rock isn’t far from here, just a day drive over the border, basically for me, and yet I won’t go there. My Teachers warned me years ago never to cross the US border – that I probably would never see Canada again. They have records on activists that have caused them bad press and loss of monetary profits – like I didn’t know that. The US is now a militarized “state” and none of its constitutionally guaranteed “rights” mean anything, just as it was when Hitler took over in Germany. The people still believed they had rights, and found themselves arrested, beaten, tortured, put on cattle trains to slave or extermination camps – not just Jews, but many who did not openly and loudly support the Nazis. There was a massive witch hunt against supporters of the Weimar republic, communists, blacks, LGBT’s, self-professed atheists, gypsies,legal aliens and of those whose libraries contained banned books and who didn’t fit the new Germany Nazi-dictated norms of looks and conduct.

        The same is going on in the US. This from “Blacklisted News: “Trump’s probable secretary of state (Newt Gringrich) wants to form a committee to rival the infamous House Committee on Un-American Activities.” If you don’t know about the McCarthy era communist witch hunts in the US, now’s the time to read up on it.

        Don’t go there, Maria. You can do more where you are now than in a “dog pen” or alone in some jail in the states you may never get out of. Germany rounded up thousands of people who thought they could return to Germany to bring some sense to the situation, or to help families and friends leave the Reich. Bad moves all around. Most of those people died in camps.

        One more point: selfishness and religious or political bigotry isn’t a particularly western problem. See the situations in just two non-western places: the Kashmir, a country being warred over by Pakistan and India that wants its independence from both, and Palestine. Just two non “western” examples of how humans can make each-others’ lives utterly miserable or unlivable. Then look at India’s treatment of women, its poor and those who do not follow heterosexual mores. Do not make the mistake I made years ago, thinking that because I could see and sense injustice in the world, that all Earthians could also. Most – that is MOST Earthians are quite incapable of true empathy. MOST couldn’t care less about others except when they need them or can profit from them. MOST Earthians LOVE war, killing and mayhem though they don’t come right out and scream it on the street. You can see it easily enough in their modern “fantasy” literature, their organized sports and their internet games. It is a truism that if you enjoy fake blood, you enjoy real blood just as much. The problem is one of mind, not of flesh.

        The number of Canadians I encountered who were jubilant when Bush The First declared war on Iraq was astounding. It was as if they couldn’t help themselves. The situation opened up a valve of repressed and pent-up feelings and they shouted their approval. There were celebrations! A pathetic few thousands (of which I was one) did protest the war, then the protests petered away. Millions died and continue to die but it isn’t news anymore; it’s just what is… or it isn’t real, or true because it’s not MSM front page.

        Personally I neither trust nor particularly like Earthians. I always remind myself of what a beautiful world this would be if people didn’t live here… Yet I spend my time, my life, helping individuals, or families, who have been f****d over by the System and I find it very rewarding, having no expectations that these people I help won’t turn on me tomorrow if they happen to support a “cause” they know I despise. It’s how it is, Maria. It’s how it’s always been and your world is not getting morally, spiritually and certainly not economically better, the latter only for the One Percentile.

        And that is exactly why it is so important to ponder that last sentence in your comment. Please understand this is not an attack on you, or how you perceive the world, it’s what life, my alien Teachers, studies and personal observations from work, from activism, and from current daily life, have shown me and continue to show me. I have a mantra that has served me for decades: “Expect the worst and you will never be disappointed.” Sadly, I’ve seldom been disappointed by Earthians. I have, however, been amazingly and pleasantly surprised by the words and acts of a few individuals along the way. I have a very short list of martyrs of the System I carry in my mind to remind me… of what you write in your last sentence. The hope of mankind lies in the words and acts of the few individuals who lived lives in opposition to the norm. All of the ones I know had their lives cut down by the violence of those who saw them as a threat to their hegemonic lies.

      3. Maria Wind Talker

        Thank you Sistar for your advice, I will take it under consideration. Financially, it is unrealistic for me to go anyhow but I do my bit daily for our planet, have done since a young child. I closed my bank account with Barclays too as they are funding fracking in the UK, not that theres much in it but still, I wont help fund it.
        I love that we share similar sayings, ive said for many ears that the world will be a better place without humans and expect the worse. Like you, I am constantly appreciative of how many individuals suprise me into remembering the beauty that still lives within our world.

        Yes im aware of the attrocities and 4th Reich currently taking over the world. I have to try hold onto the faith that our lights, though less in number can join together and bring about a new paradigm.

        Thanku again, for your wisdom.
        Much love. ❤

    2. Sha'Tara Post author

      Maria, there was something I wanted “give” you. I’m sure you know this song, but always such a powerful one to listen to… for you: The Heart beat drum song.

      Reply
  1. franklparker

    I agree with Maria. We need to think about tomorrow, not out of fear of our own demise, but to ensure our own actions – and words, those of us who are writers – lead to a better world for those who come after.

    Reply
    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Thank you Frank. Please take a couple of seconds to read my response to Maria. I didn’t mean it as a put down, but as a reality check. And… YES, YES, YES, you writers are desperately needed to speak out. Go for it, by all means. Think of Dickens, Hugo, Tolstoy, Steinbeck, Hemingway… and get inspired!!! Let’s smash the global Hegemon!

      Reply
  2. We come from dreams ~

    Okay, time for a dead person’s comment! There’s an old drinking song which runs:

    Rye whisky, rye whiskey, rye whiskey I cry
    If you drink rye whiskey you’ll live til you die!
    Jack o diamonds, Jack o diamonds, Jack o diamonds I cry
    If you drink rye whiskey, you’ll live tile you die!
    If water was whiskey and I was a pup
    I’d dive to the bottom and never come up!

    ~~there are as many variations to this as there are people to sing it. The thing that I always liked about it was the notion of Death being a really good drinking companion. The years go by, you have many a happy drinking bout, until finally one night, Death says “Hey, buddy! Let’s go home!” How could anyone disagree?

    Sara Jane

    Reply
  3. polymath0

    Excellently written. Sorry it took so long to read-I’ve been busy this week. Anyway, I love the metaphors and the transitions. It is a very fine read and insightful. I wonder about the fear of death too, though I’ve realized long ago that I can’t just make thoughts and feelings go away out of will alone.

    Reply
    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Thanks for reading. As human beings we are very complex entities (so the Teachers have explained). Here we get confused as to our personal hierarchy. Am I a mind? A soul? A spirit? A body? Thoughts? Feelings? Emotions? Which comes first? Who’s the leader? How do I respond to often dichotomous promptings from these various sources, and in any case, what is it that responds?

      When I got tired of listening to “every wind of doctrine” and every opinion outside of myself, I had to come to terms with me. I had to decide what I was, and what I would be and how I was going to do that. I studied the complex I was made of and sorted it out. I decided, based on best observation that I was primarily a mind. Therefore, mind went to the top of the hierarchy. Mind came from “spirit” or “life” and these would remain unknown quantities. From these I drew energy to operate the mind ‘me.’ The soul was easily explained: it’s an instrument of the Matrix, a controlling mind ‘implant’ that all intelligent, sentient, self-aware beings are tagged with so they can be tracked, monitored and re-programmed according to the desires of the status quo. The soul, then, would have to go, and it did. This left the body, the part a mind being uses to express itself in, and learn from, material worlds. The mind operates its body through feelings. The mind-body interaction is done through an “interface” called ego, a grossly misunderstood aspect of being human. Ego translates body feelings into a sort of computer language that the mind can understand, and the mind fires back requests and information through the ego (located in proximity to the brain) to the body. Once expended, feelings deteriorate into emotions, entropic energy that the mind orders the body to flush out, being poisonous. A properly functioning human being (most Earthians are not, they are classed as pseudo-human and will remain so as long as they continue to take other lives to “save” their own and seek to legitimize this anti-life process) knows it is a mind, that mind is composed of thought; that all thought is legitimate and can never be rejected, or made to go away – just as you would not cut off a finger if it happened to do something you disliked, or hated – that feelings are temporary, serving a one-time purpose, disintegrating into emotions which are flushed out of the system as exhaust. Complex but quite simple, much too simple for Earthian philosophy, religion or science to ever accept.

      Reply

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