Why am I reblogging this? I don’t know exactly. It strikes me as a deep truth, even if I’m not entirely sure why. If I have a reason for posting, it is that I too long ago recognized the futility of the materialistic/religious life lived to benefit others who think of themselves as superior yet were so obviously inferior in every way. “…absence of any profound reason for living… the uselessness of suffering.” Indeed, life without purpose was to me an endless drudgery, a curse. And when all I had to look forward to was either heaven or hell, and I was convinced that heaven was unattainable, that didn’t help. Suicide (which I survived) seemed like the right answer. Then came the concept of setting up a purpose for myself, one that transcended this time, and all time, and I never looked back. The mere suggestion that I should end it all now would be unthinkable, perhaps even insulting. Yes, we live in terrible times, and yes, my visions tell me they are about to plunge into horrors unimaginable and yet, all of that bolsters my desire to see it through to its natural end. And after that, not heaven, not hell, but the rise of the Phoenix.
Killing yourself amounts to confessing. It is confessing that life is too much for you or that you do not understand it… It is merely confessing that it ‘is not worth the trouble.’ Living, naturally, is never easy. You continue making the gestures commanded by existence for many reasons, the first of which is habit. Dying voluntarily implies that you have recognized, even instinctively, the ridiculous character of that habit, the absence of any profound reason for living, the insane character of that daily agitation and the uselessness of suffering. — Albert Camus, The Myth of Sisyphus. (Penguin Classic November 26, 2013) Originally published 1942.
A meaningful sharing; certainly one that makes me think; and I can relate to most of what you express within it. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you. Glad you could relate.
I am glad you are here, Sha’Tara. You have much to offer to the world.
And when the unbearableness you mention comes to pass, quite possibly thanks to Trump, maybe we should throw a big “The Heck” party, either blogging or real life, where we’ll drink (a beverage of choice), commiserate, and be merry as much as the gloom and doom permits. Because what the heck.
What a wonderful idea! 🙂
Very deep thoughts…
Thanks Robert. I like “deep thoughts” expressed in few words, something I seldom can achieve, hence I have to use others’ words.
Yes, I can relate to these thoughts too (and I love Camus). I’ve gone through some difficult times in my life, but those who think and feel the most tend to do so. Life is pretty good now, though being a fully engaged and loving human is always a difficult path to choose. I appreciate your thoughts and like that you shared. Thank you.
Also, I love Emma’s idea of the Heck party.
Good. I hope Emma reads your comment… 🙂