Quest for Balance – an essay

Possibly the hardest “lesson” I’ve had to learn, and continue to learn, is the understanding (wisdom?) of balance in life.  Each day seems to bring out this fact: everything is on a quest for some sort of balance. 

 I asked my teachers why finding the balance between extremes was so much a part of my life.  They reminded me that even if I give little credibility to astrology, I chose to be born in the house of Libra.  And I chose the path of transgendering in my search for healing.  Well, what can I say? 
Where to start?  I know I’ve touched on the subjects of chaos and order before, but from a position of choice between one or the other, never from an empowered perspective that recognizes the necessity of both and how they can be “spun” together to make a working whole.
Perhaps I need to re-iterate my lessons on Earthian humanity.  E-humans are, by nature, beings filled with chaos.  They find little, if any, order in their short and confused lives.  The reason for this state is known to me, but the history behind it would fill volumes.  I just accept this statement as true based on historical records and current global and personal experience.  Chaos rules Earth and its humans.
How have humans gone about creating or finding order to control their chaos?  Through belief “systems”.  Through organized collectives of various kinds.  By belonging to groups.  By making laws.  Order, they reasoned, would come from imposition upon the chaotic.  Religions would bring people together to pray to a common deity and to seek forgiveness for their chaotic behaviour.  It wouldn’t necessarily change them inside, but they could see a semblance of order in their outward behaviour towards those they associate with.  Their laws would force them into some reluctant cooperation.  Families would provide security and support.  Nations would provide some unity of force for aggression, defense or favorable trade in resources.  Heroes and popular types would provide a basis for pride; for a sense of superiority over other groups.  (Not surprisingly they were the first rulers and originators of bureaucratic institutions.)
On the surface, organizations do provide order in the chaos of undisciplined individual behavior.  However, points out one of my teachers, each collective is but a Pandora’s box full of chaos, controlled and confined negative energy which the owners of the “box” are often tempted to let loose.  The anarchy of war: a prime example. 
There are other problems with collectives as holding chaos with enforced order.  Analogy: a cardboard box full of apples.  Each apple contains some rot in it – chaos.  They cannot be removed from the box or the box would become empty and useless (powerless).  So there they remain, and the rot must, of necessity, increase.  The resultant mush softens and destroys the walls of the cardboard box, the ordered holding, and it oozes out.  When two such piles of mush touch each other, you often end up with flare ups of civil or religious wars (the worst examples of the evil of war). 
Another example of chaos being leashed but not controlled is in today’s mega corporations and government bureaucracies – huge collective entities that consume human life-energy while putting on a front of serving, pleasing, giving.  Education, health, social welfare, food, clothing, housing, transportation — all of it serving the elites who own the boxes… 
Well, I’ve said these things before.  But what about balance, then?
What is balance?  It is not helpless acceptance of evil, quite the opposite.  But the balanced individual approaches the problem from a totally different perspective than the one who relies on institutions for empowerment.  Institutional empowerment will always pit forces of chaos against forces of order (for example in times of revolutionary social change) or order against chaos (as during great reactionary movements, such as the First World has seen in the last 50 years: the retrenchment of the old forces of Plutocracy and Meritocracy leading to the hoped-for establishment of some nebulous but definitely fascist “New World Order.”
Personal empowerment dissolves the collective hold within itself.  It does not eradicate it and it does not seek to replace it with “light” or replace its known evils with good.  For that, refer to the above.  Doesn’t work.  What it does is learn through various steps of surrender how to allow in equal measures of opposing forces, building itself with both. 
It applies what it learns through trial and error, reasoning out the results of these efforts, using logic, common sense and intuition together.  Sensing what makes “sense” by using more than the usual physical senses, then trying out this awareness in the “real” world on a daily basis.  Personal empowerment is the power to capture chaos within one’s order field, thus providing one’s energy field an immunity of sorts.  As external chaotic forces push their way in they are snared and masterfully “twined” within one’s total energy field.  Neither fire nor ice can now destroy that field. 
Personally, this has been a slow and grinding business that continues unabated and will continue.  I see no reason for it to end, though the processes of “allowance” will change with each dimensional leap, of course. 
So, my physical/mental make-up is a personal world of chaos.  But the “Force” or Spirit that feeds this necessary chaotic mess is pure order.  This offers me a whole new world to exist in: a world of balance.  That is the world I must create, moment by moment.  That is the world my dreams have time and again, demonstrated as logical and harmonious.  That is the world all systems, particularly belief systems, fear above all things and have vowed to prevent on this world.
The “master” of energy, be it a mage, wizard, witch, druid, shaman – necessarily a living being, thus necessarily made up of chaos and order – achieves a balance of light and darkness; of living and dying, of good and evil.  No, you will not find this being exercising evil against other life to prove its mastery of it.  The beauty of balance is, one can order chaos to one’s will and vice-versa.  The trick (well, OK, it’s much more than a trick) is to “twist” or “spin” one within the other, to strengthen one by linking it purposefully and carefully with the other.  Such a successful twisting becomes a successful life.  It makes me think of DNA when I envision this.  Or the fusing of dissimilar metals to achieve strength and flexibility. 
Understanding of life on this principle is what is required to move inter-dimensionally.  This is the place where no negative “good” or “evil” is created.  For it must be understood that due to great forces of balance beyond our control (at least beyond mine at the moment) anytime anyone “forces” what is considered “good” somewhere, someone else, something else, will balance this with an equal force of “evil”.  This simply because all life is an endless quest for balance, or so it appears to me at this time.

6 thoughts on “Quest for Balance – an essay

  1. We come from dreams ~

    I began my first serious reading into ancient philosophy somewhere around 1974. I had become a fundamentalist born again Christian in 1972 and was encouraged by my pastor (who grew up in the far north end of Alberta, btw) to not only read the Bible, but about the Bible. In an enlightened explanation (coming from such a person) he explained, “The Bible didn’t pop into existence in a vacuum. The various ‘books’ it contains are each the from a specific time, culture and language, and if you want to understand it, you should read about these things.” So, I started small, but soon got to people like Socrates and Plato, Ramses and Nebuchadnezzar. Scholarly books filled my shelves. This studying produced exactly what my dear old pastor would not have wanted: I eventually saw through the sham of Christianity and went back to psychedelic drugs – another dead end which I shall get to. But I’m ahead of myself.

    Several of the “pre-Socratic” philosophers, most notably Heraclitus of Ephesus (535 – 475 BCE), made curious statements that would only, finally make sense when the first Chaos theorist, Mitch Feigenbaum, began seriously studying chaos from a rigorous mathematical view in the late 1970s. One of his numerous observations was that “order emerges from chaos” and that the reverse was also true. It was at this time that certain of Feigenbaum’s contemporaries linked his pronouncements to statements by Heraclitus, statements which had long been considered “gnomic,” meaning, “You figure it out.” Among them were, “The way up and the way down.” And of course, the classic “Coming to be and passing away,” which later crept into the ditherings of later thinkers and writers. At this point it would be well to remember the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz, when he’s awarded a professorship of Thinkology.

    From here, our existence is a continuous coming to be and passing away, rather like living on a Moebius strip, convinced by the limitations of our senses that we’re in at least a two-dimensional world, when it’s actually only one dimension. The Matrix, or Time Lords, do not want us to know this, because the sensible conclusion of seeing/knowing this one-dimensionality is that the whole thing – religions, cultures, nations are nothing but a pack of old playing cards.


    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Yes the whole thing is a “you figure it out” drama, or game. If we recognize and accept that as a species we are dupes and slaves of powerful unseen dystopia-spreading intelligences, then the entire focus of one’s life becomes a quest to escape this nightmare. Hence the “WHY?” question when confronting major evils that logically make no sense. Discovering the source of these senseless evils unmasks the creators. Once we know who they are outside of all the propaganda of religion and the denials of the entrenched scientific community, we can then develop ways and means to defeat them. What can hurt them? Unbalance their power? Weaken them? Expose them? and so on.


      1. We come from dreams ~

        Sorry for the delay, my modem went down last night and I had to go get a new one this morning, install it, then jump through all of the hoops with one of their service techs. But, we’re back.
        To be able to confront a mortal human representative of evil (pope, imam, chancellor, president, CEO) and get an answer to “Why are you doing such-and-such to so-and-so (a person, ethnic group, endangered species)?” would be wonderful, but I doubt we’d get an answer. The Nazi higher-ups had their cyanide caps and Lugers at hand and quite a number of them used them as the Allies circled round Berlin. Likewise, CIA, KGB and Mossad agents also have their means of quick and permanent exit. The standing order seems to be, “Keep your mouth shut by any means necessary.”
        Who they are. Anunnaki, some sort of master fiend, intelligences that came here in mushroom spores. The fact is, they’re here.
        What can hurt them. Their model seems to be, they need to eat, to feed on something, rather in what I described as a feedback loop on the other one. Things that feed can be starved.
        Exposing them. As long as you and I, and people like Jon Rappaport are looked on by the mainstream as tinfoil hat folks, we’ll have little audience or traction. BUT and I say BUT. Every day there are a few more people who stop long enough to consider the evidence and are convinced, something wicked this way comes, or came here a long time ago. Right now, we’re solitary voices, rather like the character Kareem Abdul Jabar played in Steven King’s “The Stand.” Walking about, ringing a bell, calling out, “The Dark Man is coming, the Dark Man is coming,” until one day, the Dark Man kills him in a moment of peevishness. The Time Lords are aware of us, but right now, we’re gnats.


      2. Sha'Tara Post author

        Let me reply thus:
        For us who are, or have become, aware; who sense these evil presences; who now are shocked back to our timeless remembrances, however confused; who realize we are scattered remnants of shattered entities from conquered worlds, remembering that some of our worlds were literal paradises until the evil came, it is enough that we know. So said the Teachers: “you have experienced mainstream media and what has it given you? Disgust and a grinding sense that you need more power to become effective in swaying popular opinion. Lies. Real power does not come from propaganda or in the joining of like-minded collectives. That kind of power deals only in death. You need but do a cursory review of Earthian history to realize this.

        Now is the time to withdraw and change yourself. We will show you how to become empowered from within yourself; how to detach from the Illusion as endlessly created by your Masters of the Universe; your worshiped Divinities, Powers and Authorities. We will show you the path to becoming an Avatar of Compassion. You will not seek publicity or popularity. You will express yourself in the best way you know how but you will never put your ideas, wherever they may come from, for sale on the Matrix auction block. Ideas either remain freely accessible to all or they become instruments of oppression.

        You will live in the land of the free and the brave alone and self-empowered for you will be the only one existing there. You will experience rejection and great misunderstanding and you will know why it must be so and you will accept this as necessary and it will become less and less of a burden for your mind, the ISSA mind, is designed to function in aloness – else how would it exist in infinity? There will be those who will pretend to associate with you, who will even claim to emulate your ways: pay no heed. Do not reject them; do not point out the error in their belief and do not encourage them – all of that is meaningless. If you live the life we will express to you, you will realize the necessity of walking alone in everything you do, even when working side by side with others on similar projects – your own reason for doing it will be completely different than theirs and that’s what makes all the difference.

        What will you gain? You will gain your natural sense of living as an infinite being and you will have the greatest experience possible in the ISSA world: you will know Sorrow and Joy as these will be your only constant companions.
        (*ISSA: my acronym for “intelligent, sentient, self aware)


      3. We come from dreams ~

        So be it.
        I think that it was Anaxagoras who said, “If you were nowhere, you’d be everywhere,” another one of those gnomic statements from an ancient Greek seer (as opposed to “philosopher”) that long ago described to me the “necessity of walking alone.” My email signature, “in hoc signo transit,” “By this sign move on,” is meant to express this. And the Chinese philosophers, who were slaves to Matrix-think as much as their Greek contemporaries, wanted to erase the ideal of Lao Tzu, to walk, live and work alone in the world, occasionally meeting others and then going our separate ways.
        But I am already spouting verbiage.


      4. Sha'Tara Post author

        Oh well… I’ve learned that when two people agree on most things, it greatly simplifies the conversation: we just listen to each other sipping our wine, and we look up in the sky at the same stars and there’s blessed peace.


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