Possibly the hardest “lesson” I’ve had to learn, and continue to learn, is the understanding (wisdom?) of balance in life. Each day seems to bring out this fact: everything is on a quest for some sort of balance.
I asked my teachers why finding the balance between extremes was so much a part of my life. They reminded me that even if I give little credibility to astrology, I chose to be born in the house of Libra. And I chose the path of transgendering in my search for healing. Well, what can I say?
Where to start? I know I’ve touched on the subjects of chaos and order before, but from a position of choice between one or the other, never from an empowered perspective that recognizes the necessity of both and how they can be “spun” together to make a working whole.
Perhaps I need to re-iterate my lessons on Earthian humanity. E-humans are, by nature, beings filled with chaos. They find little, if any, order in their short and confused lives. The reason for this state is known to me, but the history behind it would fill volumes. I just accept this statement as true based on historical records and current global and personal experience. Chaos rules Earth and its humans.
How have humans gone about creating or finding order to control their chaos? Through belief “systems”. Through organized collectives of various kinds. By belonging to groups. By making laws. Order, they reasoned, would come from imposition upon the chaotic. Religions would bring people together to pray to a common deity and to seek forgiveness for their chaotic behaviour. It wouldn’t necessarily change them inside, but they could see a semblance of order in their outward behaviour towards those they associate with. Their laws would force them into some reluctant cooperation. Families would provide security and support. Nations would provide some unity of force for aggression, defense or favorable trade in resources. Heroes and popular types would provide a basis for pride; for a sense of superiority over other groups. (Not surprisingly they were the first rulers and originators of bureaucratic institutions.)
On the surface, organizations do provide order in the chaos of undisciplined individual behavior. However, points out one of my teachers, each collective is but a Pandora’s box full of chaos, controlled and confined negative energy which the owners of the “box” are often tempted to let loose. The anarchy of war: a prime example.
There are other problems with collectives as holding chaos with enforced order. Analogy: a cardboard box full of apples. Each apple contains some rot in it – chaos. They cannot be removed from the box or the box would become empty and useless (powerless). So there they remain, and the rot must, of necessity, increase. The resultant mush softens and destroys the walls of the cardboard box, the ordered holding, and it oozes out. When two such piles of mush touch each other, you often end up with flare ups of civil or religious wars (the worst examples of the evil of war).
Another example of chaos being leashed but not controlled is in today’s mega corporations and government bureaucracies – huge collective entities that consume human life-energy while putting on a front of serving, pleasing, giving. Education, health, social welfare, food, clothing, housing, transportation — all of it serving the elites who own the boxes…
Well, I’ve said these things before. But what about balance, then?
What is balance? It is not helpless acceptance of evil, quite the opposite. But the balanced individual approaches the problem from a totally different perspective than the one who relies on institutions for empowerment. Institutional empowerment will always pit forces of chaos against forces of order (for example in times of revolutionary social change) or order against chaos (as during great reactionary movements, such as the First World has seen in the last 50 years: the retrenchment of the old forces of Plutocracy and Meritocracy leading to the hoped-for establishment of some nebulous but definitely fascist “New World Order.”
Personal empowerment dissolves the collective hold within itself. It does not eradicate it and it does not seek to replace it with “light” or replace its known evils with good. For that, refer to the above. Doesn’t work. What it does is learn through various steps of surrender how to allow in equal measures of opposing forces, building itself with both.
It applies what it learns through trial and error, reasoning out the results of these efforts, using logic, common sense and intuition together. Sensing what makes “sense” by using more than the usual physical senses, then trying out this awareness in the “real” world on a daily basis. Personal empowerment is the power to capture chaos within one’s order field, thus providing one’s energy field an immunity of sorts. As external chaotic forces push their way in they are snared and masterfully “twined” within one’s total energy field. Neither fire nor ice can now destroy that field.
Personally, this has been a slow and grinding business that continues unabated and will continue. I see no reason for it to end, though the processes of “allowance” will change with each dimensional leap, of course.
So, my physical/mental make-up is a personal world of chaos. But the “Force” or Spirit that feeds this necessary chaotic mess is pure order. This offers me a whole new world to exist in: a world of balance. That is the world I must create, moment by moment. That is the world my dreams have time and again, demonstrated as logical and harmonious. That is the world all systems, particularly belief systems, fear above all things and have vowed to prevent on this world.
The “master” of energy, be it a mage, wizard, witch, druid, shaman – necessarily a living being, thus necessarily made up of chaos and order – achieves a balance of light and darkness; of living and dying, of good and evil. No, you will not find this being exercising evil against other life to prove its mastery of it. The beauty of balance is, one can order chaos to one’s will and vice-versa. The trick (well, OK, it’s much more than a trick) is to “twist” or “spin” one within the other, to strengthen one by linking it purposefully and carefully with the other. Such a successful twisting becomes a successful life. It makes me think of DNA when I envision this. Or the fusing of dissimilar metals to achieve strength and flexibility.
Understanding of life on this principle is what is required to move inter-dimensionally. This is the place where no negative “good” or “evil” is created. For it must be understood that due to great forces of balance beyond our control (at least beyond mine at the moment) anytime anyone “forces” what is considered “good” somewhere, someone else, something else, will balance this with an equal force of “evil”. This simply because all life is an endless quest for balance, or so it appears to me at this time.