Finding Life Through Death

Finding Life through Death
        [simple thoughts]

Is it really so odd to be one of those people who make death a central part of life?  I’d be willing to bet, though I’m certainly not a betting sort of person, that everybody entertains a sort of relationship with death.  After all it’s inevitable, and we all know this.  Why fear, or for that matter, delay, the inevitable?  We were made to find our life through death – there’s no other way for us.  One doorway for everyone of us, but when we cross that threshold each and everyone of us sees a different landscape because everyone of us is an individual.   

There’s been times when I’ve been truly afraid of death, but I remember those were the times when I was very religious.  Religion brought the fear of death to my mind.  It poisoned me and stole my freedom of thought.  Many years passed and I struggled between life and death.  The thought of suicide was never far away, I just needed a decent excuse and that was a hard one to come by until health became an issue and things looked rather black.  Would that be the trigger?  It nearly was, but that was not to be.  The turning point was a spiritual awakening; an amazing empowerment process.  I came so close to death it was more intimate than a lover saying “yes.”  Knowing death made me see life: from extreme to extreme.  Death showed me what life means.

I began to live; to really live.  I had met death and it wasn’t the scary monster my religion had dressed it up to be.  Meeting death, I grew.  I understood things religion could never explain.  The old bugaboos and taboos fell away; those cheap tricks, mockeries, “pulpitated” lies.  Oh yes, lies, and such clever lies built one upon another based upon misinterpreted bits and pieces of ancient manuscripts!  Lies designed to control and profit.  It takes time to erase lies embedded into your mind since you were a little child but with the proper discipline and some unexpected help from very old friends, the lies faded into the background and my life soared.

What makes life full?  Well I suppose there are an endless number of reasons people would give for their life to be full.  Some common reasons: a lover; a child; a dream come true; a reprieve from a prison sentence.  What made my life full?  I found that pathway between worlds; the ability to walk between heaven and hell; between death and life.  I was no longer committed to one or the other, but to both. 

When you walk between the worlds there are no longer any endings.  Everything is open ended.  Everything opens into the infinite.  Every change is not a reason to worry, or fear, or stress; it’s a revelation, a new adventure.

I like to think about death.  Death is a doorway into the greatest adventure possible: the physical aspect of this one life makes way and one’s mind, or consciousness, is freed to move on into the unknown.  What could be more amazing than that? 

You know who I feel the most sorry for?  Those people who don’t know what they want; who don’t know who they are or why they are; who fear aging and dying, or leaving people behind; people loaded down with attachments; expectations, hopes, dreams. 

These are the people who seek fulfillment through drugs, booze, sex, entertainment, friends, family, even pets.  Needy people; victims of the System; victims of attachment to the half-life; to a life that offers what it can never deliver. 

You want to find life?  Detach from everything you believe matters or is essential and become friends with death.  Death is the way shower. 

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5 thoughts on “Finding Life Through Death

  1. thesarahdoughty

    I’m afraid of death. I’m afraid because I feel I won’t live a full life. I won’t be able to see my son grow up. I won’t overcome all this anxiety and fear and feel like a normal person.

    I almost died a few years ago. I was devastated, my anxiety went through the roof, and when I survived, the worst of my memories began to surface.

    Facing death made me fear it more.

    Reply
    1. Sha'Tara Post author

      Thanks for your comment, Sarah. I’m truly sorry, I didn’t mean to stir up bad old memories for you. It just seems “natural” and logical, from my point of view to face whatever is coming at me that cannot be avoided and perhaps in the facing, empower myself the more. I too have nearly died, more than once. But on a couple of occasions, I wanted to, so I suppose there’s a difference. My mother committed suicide; she was 46. Her reasons I thought were well chosen: she wanted something better that offered no better choice. I admire her courage. I’ve started reading one of your books. You have quite an interest in vampires. These are creatures of darkness who, although they live ostensibly forever (they’re of the Eternals, like a sort of god) can only live half-lives, never normal lives, surviving upon enslaving others. It’s as if one side of them was erased, to force them to exist in a zombie two dimensional state. Isn’t that a fate worse than death? Living in fear, something I also did for many years when I was young: fear of failure at school which meant severe corporal punishment at home, so fear of the Father; fear of God who would definitely send me to hell for all my other failures; fear of racist bullies; fear of heights; fear of horses (the harnessed or riding kind); fear of dark and tight places; fear of death by any and all means. Some fears I outgrew; some I overcame by daring myself to go where I dare not go; I outgrew the bullies and I leaving “home” took care of a few more. The last great fear, the God/Death fear I conquered when I discovered God was a pathetic cartoon character; a puppet made to seem alive by Wizard of Oz priests and there was no longer any hell or any heaven: there was an infinite Cosmos of spirit, mental and material properties to which I belonged and in which I participated in making change and creating expansion – infinite past into infinite future. Thus death became a means to change: a doorway into another dimension.

      Reply
      1. thesarahdoughty

        First, I want to say that I’m sorry about your mother, though her decision makes sense, she left people behind who cared. That couldn’t have been easy. And it sounds as though your childhood wasn’t so far off from mine (at least not until I remembered the worst of it). I was always supposed to be a good girl, and was punished often for trivial things. I know now, it was just his way of controlling me through fear. And I like your viewpoint on death and god. I don’t believe either, but have a faith in the cosmos.

        Finally, I want to express my gratitude for your interest in my books. Whether or not you finish them or even enjoy them, it is still an honor for you to read. In terms of the vampires, they are capable of doing terrible things, but so are humans. That’s a big aspect of the books as a whole. They do require sustenance from humans, but the good vampires do so in a humane manner, and live in strong, caring families. I suppose you could say my fascination with them is partly due to their immortality. But they aren’t truly immortal (those guys come later and they’re much worse). They have the opportunity to live beyond their lifetimes, a though they do experience brushes with death and face it on a daily basis, there is only one way to kill them. If they can manage to avoid that, they will continue to live on. To me, if done correctly, that is a very beautiful thing, and I will always appreciate who and what they stand for. Of course, this is only the vampires I described in my books. There are so many other “kinds” of vampires that have been written over the centuries, but my version of them is what I admire most about them. Both the good and the bad. I hope that gives a little more insight. And again, thank you so much for at least giving my books a chance. That means the world to me. Perhaps you will see, over the course of reading, how I find them to be inspiring and helpful with my own PTSD and anxiety problems. Much love to you, Sha’Tara. I’m lucky to know you.

      2. thesarahdoughty

        And please don’t apologize. I wasn’t offended. I merely wanted to share my viewpoints with you. I always find conversation with you to be enlightening and, in a way, soothing. 💕

  2. Sha'Tara Post author

    Those are incredible comments, and I in turn can say, without equivocation, that I have much to learn from you, and in reading your books, I know I will learn much. Already, you’ve shown me how easy it is to do profiling based on limited knowledge re: vampires. Now I’m definitely going to read through the material. I have actually encountered Elves and Watchers, and have mentioned the Teachers, so I know these entities, including Vampires, do exist and we cannot limit ourselves to our one little closed-in world and the limited and limiting teachings available in it. Thank you again, Sarah.

    Reply

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